Intersecting Lines

Chapter 16

Love, Alex wrote in capital letters as he stood in front of the board. We are currently at his old high school in Anyang, after paying a visit in Busan, Alex took me here so that we could go and complete the whole course of wearing this uniform. I pay attention to him as he put his hands at his side and stared at the board for a few seconds before finally returning the chalk in its proper place. I don't remove my gaze from his wide back, falling and rising as he took calm breaths, until I saw him take a deep breath just as he slowly turned to face me. He offers me a warm smile and my lips automatically respond as I placed my arms on top of my desk and I allowed my head to rest on it and I closed my eyes for a moment, carefully listening to the sound of Alex's footsteps towards me filling in the silence this room readily has.

I opened my eyes and saw him seating on the chair before my desk, facing me. We looked at each other in silence for a few moments. I started to look at his forehead, down to his eyes, how his lashes curved and how it seems to me that it holds the sunset when the sunlight is reflected on it. I look at his nose, down to his lips and I try to memorize every curve, all the lines, and everything that defines his face. Although I may never know what was going through his mind when we were so silent, but the whole time we were looking at each other, I felt how much longing he has for me even if we are just several inches apart. I decided to divert my eyes from his face to the word he has written on the board a few minutes ago.

"What's with love?" I beckon at his writings on the board and he looks back as if he was trying to check if what he wrote was still there.

"That's for today's lesson." He answered, looking back at me, he placed his elbow on my desk and he supported his head by putting his palm under his chin. He looks right into my eyes and I could feel the warmth of his breath for the reason that we are facing each other too close.

I could feel the tension building up between us and inside me, so I had to rise from my seat and I started looking at the things the students left before their vacation started. There were several papers pinned against the wall, some are drawing, poems, and other stuff that I assume are school related. I let my sight wander and explore those things and I was fascinated to think that the people who made these must have their respective stories to tell.

I never got to experience having to share the same room with several other students every single day for around seven to eight hours and that set up would go on for months. I remember how I spent my lectures confined within the four corners of my room with the lessons circulating only from my educator and me. Thinking about it now, I can't help but ponder on how I spent most of my days so alone.

The whole time I was scanning through the pinned papers on the wall, I could feel Alex's stare following every move I make. I stopped at one of the poems that caught my attention. It looked simple for it only has a drawing of a rose on the lower right side and the handwriting was neat. It crossed my mind that sometimes, the simplest things in this world holds far more complex meanings under its plainness. I cleared my throat before I started to read the poem out loud in Korean.

I once saw a dying rose.

Instantly, it spoke to me in poems.

Crying for help, looking for salvation,

It was the answer to my life's equation.

I wondered why this beauty died,

Searched for traces around it side by side,

Noticing that everything around it lived,

Dying for others to survive is what the dying rose did.