Famous Last Words (Third Book to Awake and Unafriad)

The Coffee Shop

I didn't know where I was going. I didn't want to know where I was going. I honestly wanted to hop onto a train and go where the wind took me, but that wasn't an option.


The whole scene of this day was just a sad, depressing surrounding. One of those days were girls would cuddle with their boyfriends all day. These days were the days I only remembered. These were the days that I could only feel.






I honestly needed to get over him. This was getting out of hand.






My green scarf was flailing madly behind me. It was supposed to be tucked into my black trench coat but that didn't work. It was too cold and windy.




I was praying that he didn't have a girlfriend still. Last time I talked to him he said he had a girl that he was dating, so I assumed it was his girlfriend. Hopefully they broke up. I don't know how I could take that news, if he had a serious girlfriend. If he did it would probably crush me. Or rip my heart out. Or both. And probably more.


I hated the stupid Battle of the Bands, because now we had no record deal. It was pretty pointless... I kind of just gave up. Everything hurt. I was sick of it. I needed to be happy.












There I go again...






Pathetic.


Depression sucks


It consumes you. You can't feel anything when you have it. It sucks the life out of you and makes your taste bitter. All the happy memories you had, just become memories that make you feel sick, and never want to relive. That's what made me the most upset. I couldn't have happy memories anymore. It sickened me.


It almost seemed like I shouldn't have happy memories. They weren't all great, right? I mean, some were, of course, amazing. Like the first time Frank and I kissed.


But when I think of bad memories, I look back and think they weren't really that bad. That they were just pathetic things that hurt me temporarily. It was a strange feeling when you think you lived down the worst thing, and then a little while later you think it was just some stupid small thing.


It was almost like a curse wrapped inside a blessing.


Not like god helped me at all these past couple months.








The wind had always made me think. It was such a strong force if it wanted it to be. Kind of like love. It can hurt you, but cool you off. It can annoy you, and make you thank god it was there. It can calm you, and upset you.


Love was one horrible, terrible thing.










I turned a corner to see a familiar little restaurant and looked into the window. It looked pretty comfy, so I decided to walk in. It reminded me of a comfortable cabin. It had a fireplace, nice plush couches and a nice color scheme. I walked over to a small booth in the corner, and sat down. It wasn't a 'go to the counter and order' place, so I waited to be served.


I patted my coat pocket, and I had my wallet. Thank god, because I, really hungry. Which isn't often now. Everything was screwed up for me.


There were a couple people here, some sitting alone and some sitting together. It was nice to see that I wasn't the only one alone.


I was almost sick of all this pain I was in. But I guess I deserve this. It's okay, I'll be okay.






"Hello, I'm Josh. I'll be your server. Here's a menu. Would you like a coffee, water ect to start you off?" He says, placing a menu infront of me.


I look up to see a boy with dark brown hair, that some people call flippy. He was pretty short and had chocolate brown eyes. They sparkled when he talked to me.


"Uh, I'll have some coffee please." I say, then open my menu. He nods and walks away. I'll have to admit, he's pretty attractive.


But Frank is still my true love. I can't like anyone else. No one is as perfect as Frankie.


But Frank doesn't even like me anymore. What's the point in that?


I looked down at my menu. Everything sounded so good.


And I was starving.


But I couldn't eat. I couldn't gain weight. I didn't want fat thighs. No.


But I should eat.


I'll just have coffee and a biscuit.


Josh came back with my cup of coffee and some creamer. He set it down on the table and I looked up. He smiled and it showed his gray braces. They were really attractive.


"Can I get you something to eat?" He asks politely.


"Yeah, um, can I have the cheese melted biscuit?" I ask pointing at the picture in the menu. Josh gives me a confused look.


"That's a side, you can get it, but don't you want a meal?" He asks.


"I'm not Hun-" I start to say, but get cut off by my stomach making a very loud noise.




Really? Stupid stomach.


"Seems like you are.. Are you sure?" He asks kindly.


"Yes I'm sure." I snap. He gives me kind of a sad look and nods.


"It'll be right up." Then he walks away.


Why would he care anyway? No one cares about me. They all pretend to care, then leave me when I need them the most. Why did everything always come back and slap me in the face.




Why should I even try anymore?


I look out the window, and it was starting to snow. The first snowfall of the winter. The white flakes danced down the sky. It looked so peaceful and happy. Why did everything look so happy when I felt crappy?


Why was it always like this for me?




"Here's your coffee." Josh says, appearing into sight with a sky blue mug. He set it down on the table, then what surprised me was he sat down at the booth with me.


"Uh... Hello?" I say awkwardly. I didn't really know how to take his actions at the moment.


He smiles a bright smile that made me feel better.


"What's your name? I told you mine." He says.


"Uh-I'm uh Gerard." I say awkwardly. It surprised me how he was so front forward and how he just came up to me. I liked it. He wasn't shy.


"That's a nice name, Gerard. It's very old fashioned." He says still smiling. He was looking at me directly in the eye.




I bet if he knew I were gay he would probably just throw the coffee in my face. That has happened one to many times.


"Yeah.. Haha.." I say looking down at my coffee, imagining it on my face burning my flesh.


"So Gerard, why aren't you eating?" He asks suddenly. The question startles me at first.


"I have a messed up life."


He gave me a sad face, then smiles.


"Can you tell me?" He asks.


Number one, I didn't know him. Number two, he may hate gay people, number three, I'm gonna sound pathetic. Why would he care anyway? He shouldn't have to.


"Well.. I don't really want coffee in my face right now, because if I told you, you would probably be disgusted with me." I say, pushing my coffee towards me.


"I doubt it, just tell me. I'm here to listen."


Surprised by the fact that he wanted to know so bad, I gave in, telling him everything.








~


After I told him everything, he sat back. He looked almost amazed of how long the story was. I told him everything. I told him about Vanessa, how Frank and I met, how we were in a band etc.


He gave me a sad smile. Like the ones my parents gave me when Helena died.


"Gerard, life is really hard. People will come in and out of it constantly. It hurts to have your heart broken. It really does. Like how me and my girlfriend just broke up... It hurt. She was so beautiful... I made a mistake. But the thing it depends on, is if they come back. That's the only thing. If he comes back for you, it is meant to be." He finishes.


I look up at him. I didn't even notice the sadness in his eyes. He was also upset. I could tell by the way he talked now. Yet, he still had the sad look in his eyes.




I thanked him, and got his number, paid, and walked outside, putting my coat and green scarf on.


Meeting him made me think.


I wasn't the only one who felt this way.


Maybe he did have a point. If Frank came back, maybe he would realize that there's something more to us than just friendship.


But for now, I was stuck in depression, waiting for my Prince Charming to return.




~~
Sorry for such a long wait, I have been working on this chapter for awhile...


Alas, I have updated!


Vote comment and all of that stuff!


{ it pushes me not to procrastinate...}


Lala bye