Fear

Part 4

What Joshua looks like ^

Aubrey's p.o.v

Chills ran across my exposed skin as I view the familiar area. Opening the gate to a raw power filled with depression, I stepped in. My eyes fell flat at the grave that held my mothers rotting body.

Dragging my feet to the grave I once came to everyday for hours, I slump down, feeling myself get tired.

Wiping the tears I hadn't noticed I had, I reached out and touched the warmth of the stone, grazing my mothers name. Shaking my head I huffed about how pathetic I am for crying over something that had happened eight years ago.

Pushing the sick feeling and the thought away, I allowed myself for just this time and only this time to break free from every tear I've held back.

And that's what I did.

I slumped down, my grip lingering on the only thing I had in my life. Tears fell from my eyes one by one, slipping off my rosy cheeks, landing on the dirt underneath me.

"You left me mom" I croaked through the breeze.

Silence.

"And ever since you did, dad did too." I felt a tear slip against my neck, making my hair stick to the sudden wetness.

"I'm alone mom." My voice cracked as I said the words I wished I hadn't had to say. I let out a dry laugh, looking at the dead flowers someone had left there long ago.

"Stuff happens to me mom, and I don't know why. Sometimes I feel like becoming someone I'm not. Like becoming someone I've always hated." I wipe away some tears.

"I've kind of already changed, so why not just seal it tight and completely loose myself like I lost you and everyone else, right? Because I am no one worthy of a fight." The tears were now flowing out of my eyes like a river and I have realized just how hard it is to talk to someone that isn't even here. But I continue anyway, pushing myself off my limits.

"I mean, if I did then maybe I wouldn't have to live on the streets with only a few scraps of food a day."

Silence.

"If only I sold my soul to the devil." I close to whispered through my hurt.

The only thing I could hear were my ragged breathing and soft cries as everything slapped me from what I've put back.

I brushed my finger tips against my face, trying desperately to keep my emotions at a pit, far away from ever leaving.

"I tried to become the person you were. The person I looked up to. But every ounce of dignity I had was taken away from me the minute I found out you left me." I swallowed hard at the thought of becoming someone I've always hated. Someone I've told myself I would never be no matter how low my life has become.

"Dad didn't help when he left without saying one word to me. He only left me with confusion and unanswered questions." My voice cracked at the thought of waking up with no one in the house to comfort me.

Wincing I continue, "I keep thinking there's something wrong with me. There has to be if every person that comes across me always slips from my grasp"

Pushing my hair behind my ears I decide I've said enough. Looking up at the sky, I'm struck with a dizzy feeling. Slumping hard against the stone, I blink quickly.

Everything around me danced as I tried to gain control. Puckering my brows in confusion at the shaky feeling overcoming me, I felt my eyelids become droopy. Fighting it off, I shakily grabbed on top of the grave, shifting my weight onto my legs that seemed to feel almost like cooked noodles.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it" I whispered to myself, putting my left hand against my head. My eyes squeezed shut. It felt like my breath was knocked out of me all at once.

Feeling myself loose every control I once gained, I fell on the hard floor, but not before my head completely smacked against the hard stone, my right arm scraping against it, leaving my body flush against the dirt and small rocks.

Everything stopped dancing, making me see nothing but black.

Joshua's p.o.v

"You have been called down here because the others I have given orders to, completely let me down and not only didn't give me what I want but they have gone behind my back and did something I strictly told them not to do. They are in jail as we speak but are going to receive what they deserve soon enough. As for you"- I pause, sliding over a picture of Aubrey for him to know exactly what she looks like. He eyes the picture closely and I saw a look of recognition flash in his eyes before leaving just as fast. I almost missed it. Shrugging it off I continue.

"-You are to find this girl, give her a whiff of a rag covered in ether, which will cause her to fall asleep. Put her into the van and make sure you put ropes around her legs and wrists, I have heard she puts up a good fight. Now, this drug works for a few minutes so be sure you have something covering her mouth so she cannot scream. We don't want to be receiving any unwanted attention. Everything needed will be provided in the van."

"What will you do to her once you actually get her?" He questions.

"That is for me to know and for you not to know. Leave that to me and never question what I do. You will be sorry if you ever do again."

He nods, saying a 'sorry' under his breath.

I grab his leather jacket hanging loosely on his arms, releasing the keys to the van from my grip and into his, walking him to where we hide all vans.

"If you so much as to come back without the girl I will not hesitate to give you the punishment as you so need. Do you understand my orders?" My voice is deep in my own ears, leaving no room to argue.

"Yes sir" he nods, his face expression cold.

"Good. Make sure you do not disappoint me Austin." With that I left him to do what I've told him to do.