The Perfect Pretend

Chapter 4:// Addie

Chapter 4:// Addie

 

The eardrum-shattering sound coming from my very own mouth came into a halt because 1. It wasn’t actually just to two of us inside the bathroom, 2. The girl who just came out from the third door literally swooshed and butted in our conversation asking if Nick is really gay but I tried to brush the topic off because 3. Something stinks, I’m telling everyone.

“Yuck, what is that freakish smell?” I know I should be crying still but my eyes have no choice but to roll themselves because of the artificial accent she’s using. “I’m out of here—but we are not yet done, Lewis. I am not going to let go of this,” And then there was thin air brushing off in front of us followed by the sound of the door being shut.

“Who was that?” The question just slipped out of my tongue (my voice is cracked because of the heavy drama; yes, I know I’m overreacting but everyone needs to shut up because I just feel like crying, plus oh my God, he’s a freaking gay).

“No one. What is that smell?” No one. Sometimes I was wondering how many percent of the people’s population is naturally dumb because a person is supposed to answer the words ‘no one’ if there was actually no one, or if he is referring to two because if that is the case, anyone should say ‘no two’.

“Nothing,” And now I was thinking if he’s thinking the same thing, like how many percent of the girls’ population say ‘nothing’ though everything is obviously not normal, but most of all, I was thinking if he’s thinking the same thing, like how he was a part of the uncensused—if that is considered as a word—population in the world who is naturally dumb.

He almost spat the next words that came out of his lovely gay mouth, which made my puffy red eyes glare at him. “Oh come on, Addie. That is seriously ‘nothing’.”

“Oh come on, Nikki. That is seriously ‘no one’.” I mimicked his tone and I swear I can almost imagine his tongue being stuck in his throat. The thing is I’ve tried that stupid gesture when I was in 7th grade. I was trying to reach my tonsil using my tongue but I accidentally sucked the muscle so it barely touched the bulb-like thing in my throat and ended up throwing up all over the floor while bawling my eyes out.

“Nikki? Are you even serious, Addie? Fine, she was my ex-girlfriend. You happy now? Because I swear, if you are jealous, you could’ve just told me.” Jealous. One of the most commonly misspelled words in some of the various countries all around the world. God, I’ve read miserable jelous words all over the internet, specifically the urban-themed articles and stories, which will definitely make me pick the option of swallowing my tongue again over reading stories that flow like this:

 

“im jelous, baby”

 

“really baby im just freinds with him no need to be jelous tho we were almost kissing and i was just dancing like a slut inside the 1234569 orgasmic bar”

I am 101 percent sure that William Shakespeare would definitely dig out of his grave. Shakespeare said in his play, Julius Caesar, that the fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves. The great Addison highly disagree because the fault is not in our stars nor in ourselves, but just inside the brains of these kind of people who always refer this ‘simple’ mistakes as a typographical error, but if a person is smart enough to search the meaning of a typo or to know its meaning, these mistakes are not supposed repeated two, three or four times in a row. And Merriam Webster knows what happened to proper capitalization and the proper use of punctuations.