Kill Myself...

"Don't try to tell me its fine when its not! Don't tell me to smile when there is nothing to smile about! Don't tell me to keep holding on when you don't even know my pain! You can't imagine how much it hurts to live this life!" She took a step back, gradually getting closer to the edge. She was almost there... All she had to do was close her eyes and lean back.

*Flash back* 

I was walking through the hallways of my school one day when it happened, Andrea saw me and charged, she grabed both my shoulders and forced me up against a locker.

"Come on Andrea! What are you gonna do to her this time?" Her minions chanted as she closed the space between us, she sneered when she saw my dark eyes look into her blue one's. 

"Little baby scared?" She raised an eyebrow at me. I didn't say anything... BAMM! She slammed my shoulders against the locker again.

"Answer me you little slut!" She screeched at me. I briefly grimmance at the terrible sound of my shoulder blades hitting the thin metal. That brought a smile to her face, she grabbed me by the collar of my hoodie, thrusting her face closer to mine. 

"I'll take it from here girls," She flashed a smirk at her three minions standing behind her and they left as she dragged me into the bathroom by my hood.

The next thing she did surprised me more than I thought it would, she grabbed my hand gently and pulled up my sleeve as she looked into my eyes, then she looked down at my arm and gasped at my shredded skin.

"What have you done!" She whispered fircely at me. 

"What...?" I was so confused, two seconded ago she was a bully and now she was acting like she cared. No one cared though, no one noticed, no one saw me wipe away my tears in the mornings or try to put foundation over the bruises on my neck. No one knew who I was or what happened to me at home.

As I looked into Andrea's eyes, they were lined with tears, I quickly pulled my hand away and tugged my sleeve back over my blood stained wrists.

"What do you want from me!" I whispered as she took a step towards me, I started slowly backing up till I was against the wall and there was no escape now. She cupped my cheek with her hand and looked down into my eyes then at my lips, I realized what was happening and my heart started pounding. Andrea started to lean in and she closed her eyes, I pushed her away from me and ran to the bathroom door. She placed a hand against the wall and looked down, letting her hair cover her face.

"I'm sorry..." She murmered as she began to turn towards me but I turned on my heels and ran as fast as I could. I ran out of the school gates and down the road, I wasn't thinking, but my feet carried me to the one place I wanted to be... My heaven...

"Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words could never hurt you... Well the truth is they do, they hurt a lot. I can't even remember when it all began, the day I became their victim, their target. They took my happiness away and now all I dream of is my time, in my special place. The place where I can be alone, where they can't hurt me anymore, where my mind and spirit are free. There are no barriers and no one to judge me, this is where I forget the pain that builds up inside me, here I am free from everything, and most importantly, everyone... I can feel the wind carry through my hair, it carries the pain away, the grass brushes against my hands like a thousand tiny tendrils to comfort me, the birds are above and all around me, they are my company... This is my piece of heaven, and no one can take it away from me. But of course its only heaven for a while, the pain is always waiting around the corner, calling my name, calling me back. I have no friends, no one to talk to, and no one to tell. I'm so lost in my loneliness with no hope of escape. So I sit here for hours, crying tears no one see's, talking words that no one ever hears. No one knows whats really going on, everyone sleeps peacefully in their beds, looking forward to tomorrow. Not me... You see I know what tomorrow will bring. I'm sorry if I hurt you, but it has to be this way, you see I am going to my heaven, and I'm going to be free like the birds, the wind will blow through my hair as the sun warms my face. Those sticks and stones won't hurt me anymore, I'll be free, at last..."

The bitter sweet story murmered to me through my headphones as tears rolled down my cheeks. I rested my head against the hard bark of a cherry blossom tree. My hand slips into my pocket with out hesitation and I pull out my razor blade automatically. I slide sharp steel down my arm, but I don't feel anything anymore... The pain doesn't linger like it used to, it doesn't hurt or sting. The only thing I feel is the blood that drips from my arm, colouring the flowers beneath me with my crimson poison, and it makes me happy...

I hope you enjoyed chapter one, I'll probably have number two up by tomorrow... If not later. Thank you for reading, please vote and leave your feedback!