The first time I walked in on her crying was a shock. She was sprawled on the bathroom floor as if she was lying in a pool of her own tears. The boiling water had filled the bathtub and was spilling over, her head a mere inches from the faucet but it was as if it was miles away.
That night had started like many others, "Babe I'm going for a drink with some friends, wanna come?" and "No, I'm much too tired, have fun honey." I never gave it much thought, my girl was a homebody and I was not, I lived for the crowds and especially for wooing them. That was how I had gotten her too, I wooed her and she was much too cool and confident to mind my wooing others.
When she saw me at the bathroom door, staring back at her in disbelief she came to her senses. "What a klutz I am!"She turned the faucet off. "I forgot I opened it and look what a mess I made!" But "Honey you're crying." and the answer 'Water, it's just water." Of course it was not but any time I brought up the matter, she shut it down completely.
Time passed and I put it out of my mind, my girl and I were having such a good time, she loved me I was sure, I loved the way she looked at me when she thought I wasn't looking. "They all love you, but it's me you come home to." And indeed what a lucky girl my girl was and what a lucky guy I was to have her appreciate me.
The second time came out of nowhere too, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling amorous and my bed was empty. The balcony door was open and even though I was much too tired, I got up and went outside and there she was and she was crying again. "My darling, what in the world is wrong?" I asked sweetly and I hugged her. For the life of me I could not see why, my girl was funny and beautiful and strong and she had me to lean on. "Not a thing in the world."
I wasn't convinced of course and since the problem wasn't me it was someone else for sure. I followed her around for two days but discovered nothing, she came home after work and at home she stayed throughout the night. If my girl wasn't with me she was home alone, loving and faithful, as I knew her to be, I never really doubted her at all.
But then a friend mentioned "You never really know." and I said "Maybe I'll check just to be sure." And I monitored her calls and her computer and smartphone but didn't find anything other than a log. But the log had a code and I fumbled for a few days with it, because what do you know, it wasn't my birthday or my name, or our anniversary and I was hurt by this betrayal more that I want you all to know.
On the fifth day I cracked the code, it was despair. And for the life of me I could not figure out why and as I'm saying this, still I cannot understand, why my girl, my girl, my girl who had me, who had it all, would jump off a bridge to die.
