Silent Talks (Luke and Aleisha Fanfic)

Chapter Fifteen

Luke's arms were still around me when I woke up and I really didn't know what to do. Sure it felt amaaaazing to be back in his arms but I feel guilty because I know in the long run this wouldn't be good for us. Plus, I badly need to use the bathroom. I tried to wriggle out of his arms but his grip got tighter and I just ken he was awake. I looked to my left and there he was. His eyes were awaking from sleep and I was just too enthralled by his eyes that I was kind of caught in the moment. He smiled at me but let me go quickly much to my disappointment. I stood up and went straight for the bathroom.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I sat on the toilet and did my business while thinking to myself where this would lead us to. PAIN. Exactly. It isn't best idea but this is how I want to spend my life. I went out of the bathroom and looked at Luke.

"I'm going to go down. Stay here. My mom might be home." I turned away from him, no second glances. Just good ole awkward. I went down to see if my mom was actually here and surprisingly she was. I know she tried to be home for dinner but sometimes I feel like she's intentionally accepting more shifts so she could be at work.

"Hey mom." I kissed her cheek and all of a sudden it was as if she's aged 10 years.

"Hey." She sipped her coffee while I sat down beside her.

"You know I want you to be happy." She looked deep in my eyes and said those sweet words out of nowhere.

"I know that. I want you to be happy for me too. Please stop taking extra shifts."She chuckled at my clever attitude towards her.

" You know that you, Shannon and work are my priority or else we wouldn't be eating something on the table." She put my hair behind my ears.

"I know that but you take too much shifts. I'm not taking chemo mom, you shouldn't be working so hard. Shannon needs you here, mom." I was trying to get my message across but she was just defying it. She smiled and looked away.

"I'm sorry to be such a burden sometimes. I'm trying so hard" I looked down at my hands that are fumbling with a napkin. She looked at me with a sad smile.

"I don't want you to think that. You're not a burden, don't ever think that. I know Luke's upstairs go and spend some time together." She winked at me, "Mom!" I smacked her shoulder and hid my face behind my hands.

I went upstairs with purpose. Luke was laying down on his side with hid phone in his hand. I actually didn't know where the burst of confidence came from but I knew that I wanted to talk to him. We were doing everything but.

I walked to the edge of my bed and sat down with my other foot up and the other down. I was silent for a moment, trying to come up with words and what to say to Luke.

"Luke, I-" I dropped my arms in defeat and realized I really didn't know what to say. I was just so afraid that things might not turn out how they're supposed to. He was looking at me and those stupid blue eyes were staring at me. Like always. As if he can see through me. He can't. He doesn't know and he wouldn't. He didn't really have to know anything. Right keep lying Aleisha. Like that would bring you somewhere. Nice. Just nice.

"Look, I'm sorry. This was all planned out in my head but you know I'm really shit at stuff like this and I really don't know what to say and I'm probably rambling. Please shut me up already. Do you want me to shut up? Or- why the fuck are you laughing??" I was rambling on and on and embarrassing myself further. WAY TO GO ALEISHA. WAAAAAY TO GO.

"You're just too adorable. Now, what did you really want to say?" I cleared my throat and gulped because really....I had nothing to say.

"Do you want some food?" He looked at me before mumbling sure. By the time we went down my mom was gone so she was probably asleep and was too tired to cook anything. So I decided for some cereals. Because guess what? It's the only thing I could prepare. I couldn't cook to save my life.

We sat down in the most silent way and he started a conversation.

"Hey I know things are happening pretty fast but I just wanted to propose to you something we could do for the whole week that I'll be with you." I nodded along for him to continue.

"I want to bring you to the Philippines, IF you'd allow me to." The Philippines??? What was he thinking? Would my mom allow this?? Is that even a proposal my mom would take a second to listen to? She would probably stop me after two words and say no.

"I would love that; however, my mom forbid me to even leave this house. What more this country?" I looked at him and saw immediate cockiness on his face.

"I already asked permission from her." He said quickly

"YOU WHAT?" I was tad bit excited but I couldn't ignore the voice in my head saying that isn't a good idea and that voice is weighing down my decisions at the moment. Luke immediately saw my reaction and I saw that it saddened him as well.

"Please Aleisha, this would be a fun experience. Let go of those thoughts that are burdening you." In my head, those thoughts were the ones keeping me sane before I become irrational and start hurting people's feelings.

"Luke, I would take up on that offer only if-" I couldn't tell him straight up that something wasn't right.

"Only if?" He prod

"Only if we were in a different situation." I tried to get the gist of the problem but that really isn't specifically the problem.

"It doesn't matter now, does it? We should enjoy life while we can. We're young, we shouldn't be stressing ourselves out." I couldn't afford not to stress myself out and think about every move because every choice would lead to a different ending and I at least wanted a happy ending for both of us. Although I know there is no way this could end happily, I'd give it a try.

"Fine. You convinced me."