Things I Am Not Allowed To Do In Storybrooke

229-254

A/N: Welcome back to Things I am Not Allowed to Do in Storybrooke! Wait, this isn't a game show! Hmm, an OUAT game show, I wonder what that would be like... Wait, I've already got enough going on at the moment! Speaking of fics I have going on, if you're enjoying this story, you might want to check out my newest story, Storybrooke High. Or you could ignore it because you're angry at me for using the author's note as an area for advertising. Oh well...

Too bad I don't own any of those big billboards on the side of the highway, or I could advertise there. I also don't own Once Upon a Time.

229. It is tasteless and tacky to set up a "Lost and Found" in Neverland.

230. Everyone knows that Regina did not learn magic at Hogwarts.

231. Nor did Cora or Rumplestiltskin.

232. If I ever manage to get a job at Granny's, the appropriate question to ask customers is "What sides would you like with that?" I know full well that the appropriate question is not "Are there any attachments you would prefer?"

233. Emma is not going to arrest Henry for truancy.

234. Not allowed to tell Rumplestiltskin that "___ insulted Belle" just so I can get my revenge on said person.

235. Regina is not the star of ABC's show Revenge.

236. No one wants to participate in a Once Upon a Time edition of the Harlem Shake. Seriously, that got old months ago.

237. Killian Jones is in no way related to Captain Jack Sparrow.

238. I will stop asking Killian if he ever sailed the Caribbean.

239. Felix is a formidable member of the Lost Boys, not Felix the Cat.

240. Not allowed to create a boy band called "The Lost Boys."

241. It is high time that I stop insinuating that Dopey is on drugs.

242. Snow White does not consider unicorn stickers an acceptable form of currency.

243. Dark One! Rumplestiltskin was never the "before" picture for any skincare ads or commercials.

244. Sending pictures of Mr. Gold and Dark One! Rumplestiltskin to skincare companies for their commercials is not a clever moneymaking scheme.

245. I will not dress up as the Enchanted Forest version of anyone for Halloween.

246. If it is ever necessary for Rumplestiltskin or Regina to rip out a heart, I will not request that they sing "Tearin' Up My Heart," nor will I sing or play it in the background.

247. Not allowed to email any characters a link to any Once Upon a Time Crack.

248. I am not allowed to ask Rumplestiltskin what the real reason he's always up close with Hook is.

249. No one wants me to be a host on "Good Morning, Storybrooke!" and I will stop flooding their inbox with applications.

250. Everyone is quite tired of me singing "Oh-ho-ho, it's magic!" every time anyone performs magic.

251. Not to refer to Rumplestiltskin as "the Potions Master."

252. Definitely not allowed to forge any "love advice" questions for Dr. Whale based on who I ship, or just to annoy people, despite the amazing possibilities.

253. Not allowed to transform the Jolly Roger into a luxury cruise liner.

254. The name of Once Upon a Time, Season 3 is not "Suite Life on Deck."

A/N: Well, that was fun! Credits to ArmedWithQuillAndInk for #248! Also, for #247, if you're a Once fan (and I can't imagine why you've gotten this far if you're not) and you've never seen OUAT Crack, you absolutely need to. I'm going to try to put one of the videos in the multimedia section... Wish me luck! Also, check the previous chapters, you may have gotten a dedication!