Feb 2, 2016
Hey Journal,
I'm turning 16 tomorrow!!! Karen's throwing a huge party for me and I'm really really really excited!!! I have to pack, I'll talk to you later. Kisses<3
Feb 4, 2016
Hey Journal!!
I'm really nervous because at the party I got black-out drunk, so I barely remember anything... But my mom came to pick me up this morning and yelled at me for being hung-over. She said I was a disgrace to the family and I better have not gotten pregnant, to which I replied, "Don't jinx it, Mom." I didn't even mention to her that I woke up next to a guy I didn't even know... I got to go, she's yelling for me-_- Bye
Feb 17, 2016
Hey Journal,
Guess what? This morning I threw up ALOT. I know it's gross, but I wasn't feeling very well when I woke up... I think it's from eating at that restaurant last night?? Dad took me out. I've had a big appetite for a few weeks now.. Am I pregnant? Maybe, I don't know... I'm going to go get a pregnancy test. I'll talk to you later:) Kisses<3
Feb 18, 2016
Hey Journal,
So I went to Wal-mart and got a few of those pregnancy tests yestterday. Mom wanted to drop me off, but I said no. Thank God, I went alone, because I wanted to tell you something.... I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!! I don't even know how to feel about this... Should I tell my mom? I'm going to go tell her!!! Wish me luck:) Kisses <3
Feb 19, 2016
Hey Journal,
I told my mom... She isn't very happy. I heard her yelling at my dad after I left the room. She told him she was going to kick me out of the house.... He was trying to get her to calm down, but it wasn't working..... He's calling me, I'll be right back. Kisses<3
Feb 28, 2016
Hey Journal,
Um.... I don't know what to do right now. Mom won their fight. I've been spending a few weeks over at my friend Karen's.. My parents kicked me out of the house. I'm sorry I haven't been telling you much. I've been at work. I also haven't told Karen that I'm pregnant. So, yeah.... Maybe it'll be okay? Do you think Karen will see the small bump I have right now? I hope not... I'm busy right now, so I'll ttyl. Kisses
March 26, 2016
Hey,
It's me.. In the last few weeks, I got fired from my job at AMPM because my boss found out, had my first sonagram... And Karen found out. She told me she supported my decision to keep it. I wish my manager felt the same way:/ I'm going to go run a few errands with Karen. She wants me to find a new job to help pay the rent. Kisses
March 30, 2016
Hey,
So, um.... Karen got evicted yesterday. She couldn't rack up the money to pay the rent for two months. And then she blamed it on me saying, "You should've helped! You're the one who ate me out of my home! If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be sitting here in this god damned parking lot!!! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!" You know what? Fuck you, Karen. I'm sorry I have a CHILD to take care of and feed and that I got fired from my fucking job!!! Like, Jesus, come on. Cut me some slack!!! Ughhhh I am sooo mad right now... They don't even understand.... I'll talk to you later...
April 3, 2016
Sweet Angel,
Please know that Mommy loves you and will never EVER give you up. I know things are hard right now, but we'll get through this together! I know we will. Every day I can feel you kicking. And when you're born, we can find somewhere to stay. Not a day goes by that I don't think of how it'll be to hold you in my arms. Or to breathe in your 'newborn' smell. Let me just say, it's hard being a mom. I had to drop out of school to try and find us a place to stay and a new job. Don't worry, Munchkin, we'll get through it.
Love,
~Mommy
April 10, 2016
Hey Journal,
That's it. I'm out of options. And I only realized that because today I was at the park and a couple of kids from school walked up to me and were asking rude questions like, "Do you even know who the father is?" "Why don't you cry to your mommy?" "Why are you so fat?" "Why did you keep it?" ... I really can't handle this any more. I've tried and I've tried and things just keep getting worse. I'm on the verge of just relieving myself. Maybe it's the right thing to do. Maybe those kids were right...
April 19, 2016
Hey...
My mom called me up today... She told me she wanted me back. And that she regretted her decision. I told her I'd think about it. I'm not going to... Because this is my last entry. I'm sorry, baby, I just couldn't take it. You were my only ray of sunshine and they tried to take you away... But they won't. We'll both walk up to those pearly gates together... And every day that goes by, I now think of how peaceful it will be up in Heaven. And I know you're a girl, so there's only one thing to name you; Hope. Baby, we will make it there. I love you and even in Death I will love you just the same. I will be the old Katherine I used to be, and you will be my Hope. It's time to go now, my Munchkin. Kisses<3
~Mommy
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RandomPlease don't take these. My poetry is all I have. warning: VERY SAD, DON'T READ IF YOU ARE EASILY UPSET
