The Girl

12th November'15 Chapter Twenty Six : Birthday Mistake...

This will never stop. Me doing mistakes again and again that too the same mistakes. Why can't she understand the actual reason. Why can't she look beyond my mistakes and try to see the reason behind it. Or the thing what I'm trying to do for us. Yeah I know I haven't told you things but can't you just feel it? Or is it that I have to tell you things.?

After the surprise she moved out totally off me and I had to do something worse than ever. I started talking to her from my mother's number. I shouldn't have done it. I didn't have any other option cause she was not ready to listen to anyone. I know I was forcing my decision on her of staying with me despite me knowing that this is the impossible thing for us to be together. But I never lost hope and always found a way. Well this was worse. I don't know what will she do or react when she'll come to know about this. Mother was still firm on her decision that she won't accept that girl ever again. She did give us a chance but I messed up and by my behaviour mother said she won't let me be with her. She has no problem with her all she said that she won't allow me to be with her and not the other way around. Maybe on third or fourth day when I started talking as mother I told her what mother had said about her past. Well I was talking as herself so I had to be precise with my words.( Thing that I did while talking as Shri) I know this is the worst thing that I did but she had to know what exactly had happened with mother in the past. Well for me it didn't matter but I did need to give an explanation to her. Somehow she was a regular talk with mother and I was okay with it. But what if some day this thing comes out in front of mother and her? I didn't care for the consequences as I know whatever I was doing it was all to keep my relation safe more over to keep her safe. She was ill after her exams. She should have told me before that she had a subject back I could have done something so she couldn't get ill as her papers got over. Her parents were going to come on 28th October (the day when we celebrate her birthday) and she wasn't going to come to class that day so I planned a birthday for her a week before. I thought she must have got better from her sickness so I thought of arranging her birthday on 22nd. I had another birthday to attend on the same day in Mumbai. I called up Shri as I had planned birthday by his name saying that he want's to give the birthday this year. Yes I know I was being so stupid but I didn't have any other option. Always I run out of options and I find some stupid options I know. I had arranged a cake with her picture on it. Well that surprise she had already given to her friend(The Girl's friend) on her birthday. I was upset that I had got something new for her and she already knew what the new thing was. Well as I reached on time I could see that she still wasn't well. As I touched her hand it was still warm. Why idiot why do you have to suffer everything alone.? Well she was also not in a mood to celebrate but still we did cut the cake had it and went back.

I know I was not doing good by talking to her as mother and Shri simultaneously but she wasn't ready to talk to me. I had my exams coming. It was Diwali time and I wanted to know who was the guy who proposed her in MIT's. She wasn't in the college for more than one week and that guy was saying to her that I love you so much I can't leave you stop thinking about you. I know I'm being kinda much possessive but he didn't even know her and he started getting serious just by talking? I kept an eye on that guy used to stay up awake upto night 3.00 and used to say to her that no you are the only person whom I love? Maybe it can be true but man just back off. There was another guy in the same college and probably on 8th Nov I contacted him at night 1.00. He was like, "look bro untill I come to know some basic things I can't help you" He didn't know who I was neither I did tell him her name. Yesterday I called him up in the evening and did told him what I want from him exactly. He was like,"Alright bro we'll try I'll try talking to her but it will all be upto her." I got a sigh of relief. Today on what's app her profile picture was looking awesome. Well no guess it was again Indian Suit. Probably a Punjabi suit which I like the most on her after sarees. I was busy making a video for her as a virtual gift for her birthday. Obviously it was going to be from Shri cause she would never appreciate my gifts given to her. I know why she get's pissed at me so much but idiot all I do it's just a thing to make our lives more happier afterwards. I was in sleep cause for last 3 nights I was awake. Couldn't sleep as I had to get along with my exams and yeah it was Diwali time. I started uploading the video and thought of getting up at 11.55pm but I didn't woke up. The video was also not delivered. Damned I missed her birthday for the first time in my life. I still had that guy online and he also had his birthday today. I couldn't stop myself from texting him or calling. I did request him not to get with her cause I don't trust outsiders. But boys will be boys. He did tell her that I had contacted him. Who does such things in first place? It was morning 4 she started fight with me saying why did I had to message him in first place that too on her birthday. I did messed up her birthday today I shouldn't have done that. The mutual friend of the MIT's was awake and I ask him his social network ID and pass so I could initiate talk with her and he gave it without even questioning what I as going to talk. He trusted me and I didn't want to break his trust ever. He didn't even had anything with me or her but still he was ready to help. I will always be in your debt man. I didn't text her that time. In afternoon she blocked mother and told Shri not to text again. Things were getting out of my hands. I didn't know what to do so in evening I did start my talk with her as "The Mutual Friend", I'll probably call him "D" don't want to reveal anyone's name. As I did said at the beginning of the journal.

She was okay to share with "D" about me as I did initiate talk the way it should be. Well she did had me in her mind I could tell. I know idiot I'm being dumb but I need to convey things to you soon. You should know things that I have to tell you. I don't know when I'm going to have that courage to tell you... Love you always... :* :* :*