The Girl

5th March'14 Chapter Eighteen : Friends can be best options to get fucked up...

After my last entry in my journal on her birthday I got busy with my exams which I once again got worse. Again 5 backs Well things were going as I had planned till now. We did go for a lunch this New Year. Me, Shri The Girl and Shri's so called girlfriend. She was looking awesome that day as she was wearing thing that I like the most. Later on 13th February we had our college trip to Goa, Department students only and 3 professors.

While I was travelling I had a camera around my neck the whole day and even at night. We had night travelling. The next morning we reached and me being an idiot I couldn't sleep. Since my breakup in November'12 I've been sleeping for almost 3 hours a day. The moment I used to sleep I used to get dreams and I hated them cause every time I see something in my dream they used to come in reality. Just like the Deja Vu. I know it sounds crazy but I've been seeing things. At the beach there was a Tattoo maker and I thought of getting her name on my chest, and so I did. It was quite painful but I don't know I didn't stop. I didn't allowed any of my class mates to see what I've written. In evening as I was a decent guy in front of professors everyone had given their liquor bottles to me and said to keep them with myself and don't tell the professor and they shifted my bag into one of the professor's room. What the hell. In evening her call came. As usual we were fighting. She didn't want to stay with me I guess things at her home were getting serious. I told her that in recent days I was talking with her as Shri but didn't tell from when I was talking. She got more furious and said you're a liar and you've always lied to me and she did hung up the call. Well being Valentine's day it was ruined for both of us. Later at night we were playing that idiotic game passing the ball and when music stops one has to say truth or do a dare. Unluckily as the game was about to get over I was caught. Everyone including the professors wanted to know what I had written on my chest. I ignored and I heard someone saying, "He's an idiot all he says that he keeps promises and never fails to accept any challenge what a loser 528491 is." I dont' know who said that and all I did was took off my t-shirt I had a good physique so I didn't had any harm doing it. Everyone stood silent and then I said, "I'm Nik next time whoever it was beware of what you say and never insult the name or else you'll be fucked up like nothing in front of anyone." No one dared to say a word to me and everyone got to their rooms. I had 2 shots of vodka again today and my collegues were sitting down in the open place in front of the cottage. We talked till almost morning 3 and now the problem was to sleep? Where should I go? I can't go in professor's room drunk. So I slept in group of boys. Well all I want was to sleep. They gave me an extra bed and I went off to sleep. I woke up right after 3 hours even if I was drunk. My head was still spinning around. All I did was got ready and we had an awesome day.

After I came form the trip I urged Vini to come with me to her college and participate in any event and so I could go and meet her. I searched her class but no one was there. As me and Vini were sitting in the passage her group came and they were behaving like kids. It was awful to see grown up girls behave like kids but it was cute. Vini said your girl stays with these girls she must be also childish. But where was she every girl was present but she was not. Later in afternoon I met one of her friend and ask where was she? She got curious and ask me why was I asking about her. Then I said that I'm Nikhil Taware and she went straight to her friends and everyone came out. They were like how can you come here. We never saw you coming here and they had never seen me. Probably I look little cute and they apologised for their behaviour in afternoon in the passage. The had some work so the said that they'll meet me after an hour. So I had to wait as they were my only hope of convincing her. When they came the very first thing I said that I have done mistakes she never did and I want to make it right. Finally they agreed to help me.

Yesterday I went to meet her and her friends. At first we both met and she ask what all did I told her friends. All I had said that it was me who did mistakes and probably I had done them so I couldn't blame her. When we went to meet friends she told them what exactly I had done wrong and I had already told them that my mistakes are worse and finally they came to a conclusion that I should stay away from her friend. I tired everything to convince each single one of them that I won't repeat anything again but once trust is lost you find it very hard to earn. As I came back home she had called mother saying he came in my college and talked to my friends what was the reason for him to do that.? With that even mother got furious and told me never to speak to her. Well things were going as I had seen and I couldn't stop it. As it is said that one cannot change what is going to happen. Were my visions coming true always.? Probably I should stop writing...