Falling Shadows (The Ellocea chronicles) [#Wattys2016]

Fourteen

 Her chest felt like it may have exploded and her feet were aching with exhaustion from sprinting all the way home. Luckily as she ran past the stables she saw that they were empty apart from Nandi snoring lazily in the hay. The lowering sun was making her nerves jump at every rustle and snap that came from the shrubbery surrounding the hut. She rushed to her room and stashed her cloak into the back of her cupboard, changing out of her pale blue dress and into a more plain one. Just as she was coming out of the barn with Nandi she yelped as she heard a deep rough voice coming from just behind her,

"Akillah, my love, I'm back," He leaned over to give her a big hug and she couldn't help but squeeze her eyes shut as she tried to calm her rapidly beating heart.

"Did I make you jump?" he chuckled at her discomfort. Akillah mentally scorned herself for looking so startled she replied with, hopefully, a convincing smile.

"Only a little Papa," with a small laugh, "I've just got so used to the quiet. Why don't you go and unpack and I'll prepare the evening meal," she almost pushed him inside so she could be alone to try to calm her nerves. Akillah tried to feel happy about her father's return but all she could feel was guilt and fear that he would find out about her secret outing.

Out in the solitary stables, she took her time untacking Lyla, feeling no need to hurry herself, enjoying another moment along to revel in the craziness the day had brought her. All the joy and excitement she'd experienced today, she'd probably never be able to experience again. She'd never really thought about it before, but after her visit to the village, she couldn't help but feel as if she'd missed out on growing up. She'd seen numerous girls in the village all seemingly around her age and a good number of them had had bands on their wrists signalling that they were married. When she'd seen their bands at first all she'd thought of was her mother's own band, how beautiful it had been and how she'd forgotten that they had existed having not seen one for so long. But then she'd realised that she may never be given the chance to have one and a feeling of immense sadness and loss washed over her.

It had been a good few Sun life since her moon bleed had begun and still Papa made no sign that he would ever let her live her own life. He would never let her leave for good, if he didn't even allow her to go to the nearby village. She never understood why they had moved out to the hills in the first place and after seeing all she had missed she felt an unfamiliar sensation bubble violently in her stomach. It made the hairs on her arms stand on end and made her long fingers curl into tense fists. She wanted to be free and happy, able to live a life where and with whom she wanted.

She suddenly felt terribly trapped, as if the hills and trees were trying to swallow her up into nothingness. A swirling spiral of fear and sudden contempt for her home swelled up inside of her, making the ground feel uneasy and the stable sway. The yearning for human interaction, that she thought would be satisfied by her outing, only came back stronger, wanting, needing, begging, for more.

All these thoughts and feelings inside of her made it hard for her to go back to the hut and act as if she was happy there. Everything felt forced and unnatural, she could barely sleep and swallowing her food was an effort she didn't feel she could manage. Lying in her bed, images of the colourful, lively village and the beautiful Prince in the forest would swim up behind her eyes, and an intense joy would squeeze her heart, only for the images to disappear and the pain of their absence would double in force. She was surprised at how much she thought about him and how much she seemed to miss talking to him, even when she barely knew him. It was strange to think that she'd spent barely half an hour with him and yet his smile seemed to intrude her every thought.

Papa had probably noticed she was acting differently but he didn't mention it and she was glad of it. To her, life had become a dull cycle of events, passing one after the other with no true meaning. Even her conversations with Papa seemed to become routine, the same thing everyday, she even struggled to feel happy at her special place. Just as she began to feel like she couldn't bare it anymore something happened, that changed everything.