Heaven Above (A Tony Perry Fanfic)

Chapter Eighteen

Standing on the curb I looked up at the house. Tony's house. I had been standing there for the last fifteen minutes, talking myself into going in. I needed to talk to him. I wanted to talk to him, more than I'd ever wanted to talk to anyone. Just do it, I told my self. Taking a final deep breath before walking across the grass and up to the front door. Knocking once...twice...three times. I waited for someone to answer the door. I was two seconds from walking away when the door was pulled open to reveal Vic standing inside.

"Oh Tori, you're here", He sighed in relief.

I offered him a small smile as he stepped forward to hug me. Hugging him quickly, he pulled away and led me to the stairs. I called a quick hello to Mike and Jaime who were watching some action movie.

"You know the way, right?" Vic asked me quietly, stopping at the bottom of the stairs and I nodded in response.

"Go get him Tor", Vic smiled at me and I nodded again.

Jogging up the stairs I turned to look back down at Vic one last time. He nodded encouragingly and I began the walk down to Tony's room. I don't know why I was so afraid to see Tony. I loved him right? Getting to the door I gently put my hand on the knob. Curling my fingers around the cool knob I turned it in one swift movement and pushed the door open.  Walking in I braced myself for anything. I didn't see Tony at first, but his room scared me enough. It was a mess. Empty beer cans and liquor bottles were scattered on the floor. I could feel my hands shaking and attempted to wipe the warm sweat from my palms onto my jeans. Scanning the room once again my eyes landed on the bed and Tony laying there. The covers were thrown on the floor and he was wearing a tank and a pair of basketball shorts. A bottle of what looked like whiskey was clutched to his chest and it looked as though every Star Wars movie ever made was scattered across his bed. He looked broken and in that moment my heart broke for him. It was as though something inside me broke. This was my fault, all my fault and I realised that now. The cute boy with the tattoos was broken because of me. All the air left my lungs in a huff.

"Tony?" My voice was quiet, just loud enough to be heard.

It took Tony a moment to react, but all at once the bottle fell from his hands onto the bed and he was sitting up, staring at me as though I was an angel sent from heaven. Or the devil up from hell.

"Tori", he whispered in awe, looking up at me with wide, innocent eyes.

"Hey Tone", I said, walking slowly over to him.

Suddenly he was standing in front of me and wrapping his arms around my waist. Pulling me against his chest, I returned the gesture curling my arms up and around his neck. It was a comforting feeling to be held again. For the first time in four days I felt that familiar warm feeling inside. Feeling him bury his face into my shoulder. He was shaking and I wasn't sure whether it was from tears or laughter or something entirely different. Feeling him pull away after what felt like forever he looked down at me with wide eyes. I could see tears pooling there and prayed he didn't cry because then I might start crying.

"Tori, what are you doing here?" He asked, his voice was quiet but I could smell the alcohol on it.

"I'm here to talk", I said finally, taking his hand and leading him over to his bed.

"You can't be here", He said, his eyes suddenly alight with panic, "Carly, that bitch, she'll come back and start tormenting you again. She'll be back and-"

I cut him off, "No she won't. Trust me."

"Yes she will. I know her Tor. She's a lying, bitch with no care for anyone. And I love you, I don't-"

I cut him off again, "Want me to get hurt. I know, but-"

It was Tony's turn to cut me off, "If she did something to you I don't know what I would do with myself."

I could smell the alcohol on him, it was stronger now that we were sitting close together. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.

"Tori, I love you so much. I would die if something happened to you. Especially if it was her fault. Without me you wouldn't even have ever met her", tears had started to fall from Tony's eyes as he spoke.

It killed me to see him cry, especially since it was my fault.

It was my fault , it was all my fault and he needed to know that. I had planned to talk him into getting back together, but know that I knew he was blaming himself I had to say something.

"Stop", I said, "Stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault it's mine. If we'd never met, none of this would have ever happened. I can't let you think this is your fault. She's after me not you."

"But it's my fault she found out about you", Tony said, his voice getting louder.

"Found out about me?" I asked, as he wiped his tears away, "You were planning on keeping me a secret?"

He shook his head, "No Tori. I didn't mean that."

"Maybe you should've", I murmured.

"What?" He asked, "You wanted me to hide you away. I love being with you Tori, I don't think I could ever keep that a secret."

"I was just thinking. Maybe then people would've left me alone", I murmured, feeling the tears pool in my eyes.

"Are you saying what I think your saying?" He asked, taking my hand gently.

I shook my head confused, "I don't know Tony. I feel like I don't know anything anymore."

"I'm sorry", he apologized, "I'm so, so sorry."

I felt my lip quiver and the tears started to fall from my eyes. Tony took my other hand and crouched down so we could lean our heads together.

"Why is this so hard?" I whispered.

I could feel Tony's breath tickling my lips as he replied, "I don't know Tor. I really don't."

I felt him run his fingers up and down my arms and shivered slightly. I had come over here to make things right. To tell him how I felt, but now even I was doubting those feelings. Love wasn't supposed to be this hard. Or was it? I forgot. Closing my eyes I sighed quietly.

"I'm going to just go home. Ok?" I murmured.

"What?" He asked, "I, uh-"

"No, I really should go. Wren's probably worried. And it is late", I cut Tony off.

I was lying but I needed to get out of there before I broke down completely. I couldn't put him through that. Stepping away from him, he grabbed my hand but I pulled it away. Walking towards his door I turned to look back at him.

"Can I call you?" He asked quietly.

I shook my head, "I don't know."

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes and turned away from him. I wouldn't let him see the tears forming.

"Goodbye Tony."

"Goodbye pretty girl", I heard him say, though it was barely a whisper.

Walking out the door I closed it behind me, wiping away the stray tears that were now falling quickly down my cheeks. I had to do it. Breaking things off was the best thing for Tony, in the long run. He didn't see it now but he would later. He didn't need to be protecting me, he had a music career to worry about. Walking quickly down the stairs and out the house, I called a quick muffled goodbye to the other guys and left. Running to my car, I opened it and slipped inside. That was all I could do before the water works well and truly began. Slumping against the steering wheel, my whole body was heaving with sobs. Trying to take deep breaths I couldn't help but feel that breaking up with Tony was the biggest mistake of my life.