LOVE YOURSELF (completed)

Chapter: 1

Scrolling down my Facebook account I saw a cute picture of kitten. Cats are bae. I liked it and commented, 'awe man so cute'. After a few minutes I  got a notification, it was a reply to my comment, 'ahah thanks want to meet him?'

"Oh fish this wasn't a random cat picture it's him." I said out loud.

I instantly messaged my squad.

Me: Guys? I accidently commented on one of the pictures of that hot guy that I've been stalking and he just replied to it. Shit what do I do now? It was a cat's picture and I wrote, 'awe man so cute' and he was like, 'want to meet him?' help!

Jess: Dafaq Dan? It's not that big of a deal just say, 'Ahah sure'. You worry too much!!

Ken: Why don't I know about this guy? And yeah that's fine.

Me: Ok thanks. Jess you know that I always do. Good Night now its 2am. Bye ly <3

Then I quickly wrote what I was suggested to and went to sleep.

******

"Dafaq is wrong with you Danielle? You dream about, him and you, going on a date?" I questioned my sanity.

"Ughh u know me I feel in love with every guy that pays attention to me." My inner voice replied.

"That's so wrong!!"

I'm not crazy I just talk to myself. It's good for your inner peace.

"Oh come on! You should know better, have you looked at me? I'm sooo uggh fat!"

"Get over it or do something about it."

"Huh whatever." I quickly got ready and ran to school with a doughnut. Doughnuts are good, esp. if they are glazed or have a chocolaty or a jammy center. Mhmmm..!!

*******

Its lunch time now and I'm so happy, school can really be stressful. I had a surprise test in economics today, then our world politics teacher made us write a lot of notes and she never pauses so you know your hand just starts shaking after a particular point of time because, gawd! It hurts, teacher give us a break, we are humans!! In calculus, the teacher was just after me to do all the questions on the board, oh come on teacher I'm as smart as nuts, I don't know how to do it so stop making a fool out of me. In human geography, only I know how I managed to keep myself awake and I still have four more classes to attend today.

As I entered the cafeteria I immediately notice my friends in the corner table and I quickly made my way towards them. We are those kids who make fun of all the so called popular clique because how can we not when they are so dumb. We aren't those mean kids who bully people, the jokes are just within us.

My friends feel that I want to be like them, I wanted to be when I had to spend my middle school by being alone all the time. I was the big, fat- geek in the corner who could be bullied easily, because let's face it, your tallness doesn't help when you are as fat as an elephant. So yeah, coming back, I did wanted to be a part of them but for all the right reasons. It's not the looks that is going to help you after school, its your brain as well and thus I believed that I deserved the respect they got because I used to be so smart  and if not the smartest than for sure smarter than them. But how I wished I met my two best friends, Jessica and Kendall, earlier, I wouldn't have ruined myself in 10th grade and I still would have been the smart award winning kid I used to be. They are truly two humble humans you can ever meet except that they can be complete asses when it comes to annoy me.

In year 10 I just gave up on life because lets see I was bullied, I was a loner, always neglected, had fake best friends and guys played with my feelings blah blah. You must be like, umm guys? Why did they even came close? They just saw my pictures on instagram or other social media sites and formed an image about myself and when they see me in real life they would just run for dear life because they would expect me to be Victoria's secret angel when I was its polar opposite. I don't know how and I don't know why but my pictures are always way better than how I actually look, and by pictures I mean selfies. So in year 10 I decided that I will be bad, I will be a crazy and a wild teenager. I got drunk one day, then I started bunking , I started being more open about vulgar topics and became everything that I was not, I realized I was going the wrong path, when it was late but not too late. So here I am trying to make up for all my past mistakes.

By the way he still hasn't replied yet and I'm getting anxious, I always get anxious. He should have had, but he must be busy it's his senior year plus he belongs to the popular section of his school.

"So who is this guy?" ken asked.

"I just saw him tagged in one of the pictures so I sent him a request and he accepted it and I kind of stalked him and apparently he is from Central high and you know what that means." I replied.

"Playboys, sex, teenage moms, hoes , rich spoiled brats, drugs alcohol, cigarettes, parties, hookups, loosing virginity as soon as you  turn 15 or doable, half of the schools female population have either been knocked up and have become mothers or have chosen adoption or have got STDs and blah blah blah."Jess added with a blank tone as if it's all so normal. It's not because our school sucks, the top most gossip here would be that somebody is making out in the parking lot or somebody is cheating or that someone shares nudes and the whole school population is going to give them so much importance for nothing.

"So has he replied?" ken asked.

"Nah, I don't think he would it's so lame to reply to my comment. "I answered. What will you even reply to that?

"So who's up for summer clothes shopping? Crop tops, shorts, skirts and dresses. I love summers!" Ken Asked in a complete daze as she just loves summers no matter how much sweaty you get or how the risks for getting a heat stroke rises. She just loves it. While I, hate summers, call me weirdo but I love winters so much more than any other season, I'm a winter's baby.

"Nah not me, I like sleeves, loose, long and dark shades tops with dark denims or black pants." I replied already packing my stuff to make a run as I clearly know what's going to happen next.

"YOU NEED TO DRESS FOR THE SHAPE OF  YOUR BODY AND WEAR FLATTERING CLOTHES. "Both of them just screamed on my face.

"No and I think you are getting carried away with your emotions. So just Chill."

"Ughh you have to, for once. Why do you underestimate so much? "Ken asked.

"You won't get it. Bye got to go. "And I ran away.

I have several problems with my fat body and no problems with eating or junk food or overeating. Food just seems so delicious that no matter what I can't resist. I don't care how much I have to run afterwards but I just can't do healthy eating. Everyone tells me that unless and until you switch to a healthy and a balanced diet you can't lose weight. I get it and I'm damn serious about getting fit but when it comes to eating, I can't. It's so irritating because I'll run for hours but then I'll eat something which will make no difference. I've started following so many people for inspiration like girls who used to look meh and then puberty hit them and now they are just so hot and then girls who used to be fat and then transformed themselves, fitness trainers, models, etc., just in one hope that a day would come when I'll be either super jealous or super inspired by them to change myself.