Dear Tris,
I still remember that final day. But I almost didn't, Tris. I almost forgot it all. I almost chose to forget it all. On purpose. Tris, I can't believe it. I wanted to take my memory of you away. I wanted to forget you.
But it wasn't because I didn't love you, Tris. It was because I loved you too much. It was too hard to bear the thought of you, and that I wasn't there for you. That I could have changed this. I could still have you here if it weren't for the choices I made. But its not impossible, Tris, somehow I'm doing it. I'm living on without you.
Living without you may be hard, but not impossible, because your memory lives on, in my mind, and in the minds of everyone you touched, your friends, your relatives, your fellow initiates, those you helped. And you helped a lot of people, Tris. I can't believe that I wanted to forget that, and I would have if Christina hadn't stopped me.
Sometimes I wonder why I don't kill myself. Why don't I just end it all? I could be with you. But you would hate me for that. Tris, you'd be so mad you probably wouldn't even talk to me, if there is talking after death, that is. And that would make it even more unbearable to have you so close yet unreachable; worse than your current state of being impossibly unreachable. You'd be so disappointed that I gave up, that I wasted everything I had done (witch isn't a lot), that I'd be selfish. I need to live on. To carry on your memory, to help others carry the same burden. I'm not alone Tris. And sadly, neither are you.
Sincerely, Tobias Eaton
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Dear Tris
FanfictionDear Tris, Things here have been changing, rapidly. I wish you were here to experience them with me. I miss you and I wish you were here. Your love, Tobias Eaton -This is a bunch of letters written to Tris from Tobias, this happens after allegiant- ...
