scream • rants

tag you're it

WHO AM I TAG

Rules:

You must write who you are in at least 4+ sentences

You must post the rules

You must tag at least four people

You must have fun

You don't need to do the tag

DISCLAIMER: idk but i feel like i should warn you, my life isn't that happy, AND THIS WILL BE PRETTY LONG IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY WILLING TO READ THROUGH IT

- - -

Someday, somehow, my life was drastically different.

It was like the lines that dictated me as a cheery young child had blurred over into the harsh reality that life truly brang. My struggles mirror millions of other aspiring young teenagers gracing the earth.

I was expected to grow up into a powerful young woman, owning her own company or helping the world defeat any problems.

Instead, much to the horror of my strict Asian parents, they raised a slacker, a young girl who was perfectly content to shirk duties and watch television.

Nothing really fazed me, and as much as they would lecture me and leave me a sobbing mess, I always got back on my feet and continued throughout my week like nothing had happened.

When I was twelve, my appetite drastically dropped, along with my interest level for anything. Soon enough, my parents noticed my insomnia becoming as horrible as ever, and a simple trip to the doctors diagnosed me with depression faster than one could blink.

For some reason, I didn't feel depressed.

I felt isolated.

It was like something had come by and completely robbed me of any joy I had previously possessed, leaving me an empty shell devoid of emotion, but able to break down and sob for hours.

The worst part was the voice in my head.

It was feminine, ranging from a furious tone to a silky one. It was that voice that constantly berated me for everything, telling me I wasn't good enough for anything, that I would never be, and that I should kill myself. I still think that my most tragic mistake was listening to that voice.

One day I completely gave up on myself, and found all of my mom and dad's pills, swallowing a toxic mix in one fatal gulp.

Lucky for me, I was saved, but kept on a close watch in case I ever attempted to try that again.

They treated me like a feral animal, using soft movements and tones, acting as if I would lash out and destroy them at any second.

That drove me crazy inside, rotting away at any feeling I had left.

I was a complete idiot, swallowing my true thoughts and destructive feelings, refusing to open up.

The worst part was that I was expected to get straight A's and live happily at school with the tremendous amount of responsibilities and extracurriculars I had to go through.

Eventually though, I got better, but relapsed back into clinical depression after something [I'd rather not say what] made me feel like the ground had been pulled away beneath my feet.

I was heading straight into the same deep, dark pit of hatred that I had used to reside in and barely pulled myself out of.

The only thing that made me feel like an actual human being again was books, because for a brief moment, I could live another life, something that was amazing and perfect.

My friend was my saving grace, introducing me to this site.

For the first few months, I kind of just hovered around, reading all sorts of weird books and digging through the Teen Fiction section.

One day I thank for the rest of my life, I saw the Flash on Netflix.

Being a tad curious, I entered the term in the search bar, finding the fics and eagerly reading them [blah, blah]

I stumbled a book written by -voidallison about Teen Wolf.

And I really have to thank Taylor for the rest of my life, because without her, I wouldn't have been introduced to the fandom and met some of the most fantastic people in my entire life.

I actually don't know who I am yet.

I'm doing a lot better than I was though, and I have to say that I love you all so much, thank you for helping me get through tough times and just thank you for making me smile.

I TAG

the entire antidramasquad

bisexualbarry

classy_stiles

and basically anyone else who wants to do this