1 | Forevermore : ̗̀➛ Tom Holland ꪜ

SIXTY ONE

[ TW: suicide attempt ]

One year. One whole year of faking happiness, faking laughter, faking everything. One whole year of trying to be strong. Amethyst hated faking her feelings towards people, especially towards her boyfriend. She loved Tom so much, it was starting to hurt. Now that Tom knows a lot more about her past, she was beginning to feel self conscious. He still doesn't know about the rest of the story with her, Kyle, and Raven altogether. She had to tell him sooner or later.

Today was indeed their one year anniversary, and the wonderful greetings from her friends made her smile a bit. When she came across Arden's and Charlie's, her heart ached in her chest. One whole year of trying to not act so hostile towards them two. She loved the two very much — Arden a lot more, because she doesn't feel very comfortable with Charlie yet — yet, they kept all of this from her. Sure, she understood that they wanted her to grow up with a happy life, but she still grew up with lies.

Arden was out with Harry on a lunch date, and Charlie was hanging out with Grant. She smiled at how Grant managed to win Charlie's heart before anyone else could. Robert, Anthony, Tyler Posey, Jake, Sebastian, and Chris were over, keeping an eye on her. She hasn't done anything wrong to harm herself for a whole year, even though it can be very tempting sometimes. She did have trouble sleeping at night sometimes, so Arden took her to the doctor to get some prescribed sleeping pills.

Amethyst was laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Tom had to finish filming Homecoming, so she won't see him until tonight. Thousands of thoughts were consumed in her mind at the moment, and she wanted to scream. She was sick and tired of pretending to be okay, when she knew that she wasn't. The depression she was going through right now was way worse than the one she went through during the situation with Kyle and Raven.

Amethyst sighed and tears brimmed her eyes. I'm a mistake. The story Charlie told still hasn't left her mind. It made her body tremble at the thought of her own mother giving her up just like that, because her real father was a piece of shit. Unknown shit, that is. She doesn't know why Tom chose her over millions of other girls out there in the world. She regretted falling for him. She should've just left him and Raven alone, and she shouldn't have taken Kyle back beforehand either. She should've just moved on with her life, and focus on her career.

But at the same time, she didn't want Tom with anyone else. She loved him with everything she had. She didn't want to lose him. But, after finding out about everything, she felt like he was disgusted by her. How she was a huge mistake. Amethyst placed her head in her hands, and cried. She wanted to disappear from the world. She felt like she wasn't good enough for anyone, not even Tom. She lifted her head up, and slowly got out of bed.

She was in so much pain. She couldn't take it anymore. She walked in the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She opened the cabinet above the sink, and grabbed her prescribed sleeping pills.

No one will miss you.

You're just a mistake to the world, Amethyst Claire.

Tom will find someone new.

He doesn't love you anymore. No one does.

Who will ever love someone like you?

She placed the bottle down on the counter, and cried some more. She didn't want to do this, but she needed to find peace with herself and the world around her.