A Random, Illogical Person. Ja, That's Me.

Silly story my dad told me

A/N Okay, so this is a silly Jewish story. P.s. I'm Jewish and proud of it. P.p.s. Enjoy

In the middle ages, most people despised Jews. In one city that existed so long ago that not even the citizens could remember its name, the governor decided that he would throw all of the Jews out of his city...unless the Jews could provide one wise man to attempt at answering three riddles. If he answered correctly, then the Jews could stay: but if not, then adios, amigos! The Jews panicked at the news, but nevertheless they chose a wise man named Judah. On the day of the riddles, Judah appeared in the square in front of a crowd of onlookers that included his whole community of fellow Jews. In front of him was the governor in his chair. Judah tried a smile, but it was met with a glower. Okay, now he was really terrified.

Without any explanation, the governor raised two fingers into the air. Instantly, Judah put up one. All of the governor's advisors spontaneously raised their eyebrows while the governor's eyes widened. "That's the correct answer!" He said, amazed. Once he recovered from the shock, the governor raised his open hand, showing Judah his palm. Almost mechanically, Judah raised his fist. Whispers began among the advisors while the governor's jaw dropped. "Th-that's the correct a-answer!" He stammered. Time for the last riddle. The audience tensed; this had better be good! The governor reached into his pocket and pulled out an apple. As an answer, Judah reached into his pocket and took out a piece of unleavened bread. An all-out argument broke out between the advisors while the governor nearly had a heart attack. "That's the correct answer!" He squeaked. "The Jews may stay."

The square emptied and there where parties and inquiries on the appropriate sides. At the governor's house, his advisors came up to ask him, "How did that Jew know the answers that we so secretly came up with?" And the governor responded, "You saw how it went. I held up two fingers, asking him if there were two gods. He said, no, only one, simply by raising one finger. We all know this to be true. I held up my five fingers to show that the Jews are divided and weak. He said, no, we are united and strong, simply by making a fist. And indeed, his whole community was there supporting him. I took out an apple, demonstrating that the world is round. He took out his bread, showing is that the world is flat. Duh! We are true to our word, so the Jews may stay. I'm gonna go to my room and cry!"

At the same time, the Jews held a loud party. They toasted Judah, carried him on their shoulders like he'd won a joust, and, of course, got very drunk indeed. A few curious people asked. "What were those weird riddles? we didn't understand." Judah smiled and said. "Those were easy. He held up two fingers to put my eyes out and I was like, no, I'll block you with my finger. He held up his hand to slap me and I was like, no way, dude, I'll punch you if you try. And the third was easiest of all: he showed me his lunch, so I showed him mine. What do you say to another l'chayim?"