C for Courage

Unsteady...

James came home. You wonder why I would start with that, don't you? Well, it's what he did and said that is the reason why I started with that.

James came home. Yeah, he comes home every night. All of those nights since he forced me to move in with him, three years ago, he's came home drunk off his ass.

"Yo bitch. I'm fucking home. Where the hell is ma food?!" James yelled.

I sighed. I was four minutes away from having food done. Damn it!

"Babe.. You're home early." I called from the kitchen.

You see, he's a employee at Wal-Mart by day, drug dealer by night. I know he sleeps with other people, but he rapes me. He abuses me. If you want to ask why I stay, don't. Please, just don't ask me that. It's a lot more complex than just upping and leaving him.

"Where the hell are you bitch?" James yelled.

"Kitchen." I replied timidly.

I heard his footsteps come and get closer. My body started to shake with each foot fall.

"Why isn't food done?" He yelled as he inched closer to my face.

I looked at him and then back at the pot of Pork flavored Ramen.

"B-because-" I get cut off by James screaming at me.

I cower away from the male, and so the cycle begins again.

"No fucking excuses bitch! Why isn't my God damn food ready!?" He shouts, stomping his way over to me.

He raises his hand up and it soon connects with my cheek, a stinging feeling covering the whole left side of my face. My head flings sideways and I crumple to the ground helplessly, tears forming in my eyes.

"You're so fucking useless!" James screams, his foot slamming into my ribs, making me cough in pain.

I gasp for air as he continues to kick me. He scream words at me as he kicked and punched my fragile body. Tears were streaming down my face as I could feel blood starting to seep through my dirty clothes.

"You don't deserve to live, useless whore!" He shouts, his fist coming in contact with my cheek.

He kicks my side four more times before grabbing my hair, pulling me up. I stifle a loud sob as his face nears mine. James pulls on my hair harder until a soft whine escapes my lips.

"This is all your fault bitch." He growls, slamming my head against the table.

I gasp as my head comes in contact with the wooden table, my head begins pounding with pain. The room was spinning around and black spots form in my eye sight. My body falls limp on the ground and my vision blurs with tears. My vision blacks out and I fall into a dreamless state, wishing I would never wake up again.

-Flashback brought by drunk Justin Bieber-

"Jinxx...Why is dad so mean to me?" I asked my big brother.

"I don't know Sienna. You do like death metal music. He wants us to like classical music. But I think the main reason is he said that mom and him never planned for you. You just happened." Jeremy said pulling me into a hug.

"Happy 16th birthday Jinxxy." I said looking up at my brother.

"You'll be seven in eight more days Sienna." Jeremy said.

I nodded sadly remembering what dad does on my birthday since I was three.

Dad then came into the room and I hid behind Jeremy.

"Son, there is a birthday present for you. You're mother will show you it. Go on." Dad said.

"Come on Sienna. Come with me." Jeremy said.

"No, she needs to do her chores. You know that Jeremy." Dad said.

I cowered away from my dad as Jeremy got off the bed.

" Jinxxy... Please don't leave me in here!!" I said reaching for my brother.

"I'm sorry See- See. Dad, don't hurt her. She doesn't deserve it." Jeremy said and sadly left the room.

Once the door shut dad came closer to me and started taking off his belt.

"Daddy please." I cry as he stomps closer to me.

He grabs my arm roughly, twirling me around and shoving me onto the floor. The hit was worse than the sound when the belt buckle came in contact with my already scarred back.

I felt the belt dig into my soft skin as a hoarse scream erupts from my throat. Pain soared through my veins as tears stream down my small face. He continued to slam the metal into my back as I squirm around, trying to get away from my father.

"You useless whore! No one loves you! You're a mistake to society!" My dad shouts at me as he continues to beat me senseless.

I could feel cuts opening on my back and I started screaming for my brother.

"JINXXY! JINXXY!" I scream in intense pain, my small body curling up, trying to block out the pain.

My dad laughs wickedly.

"Your brother isn't going to help you, bitch!" He chuckles, taking complete amusement.

He loved my horrible pain because he was causing it.

I continue to scream until my voice was gone and my body was going numb. My 'dad' was still hitting me but, my body hurt so much that I couldn't feel it anymore.

My eyes flutter shut and my body went limp as I passed out. Blackness was all I could see for miles and miles.

-end of flashback brought by our loving Jinxx-

I woke up and looked at my surroundings. I was in mine and James' room. I looked at my skinny and broken body to see no clothes at all. I look at the clock on my bedside table. it read 12:05 a.m.

I put on a bra and underwear and look at James' side of the bed. He's not there.

"Shit." I mumbled.

I crawl into bed in slightly less painful position and wait for James to get in here and go to sleep.

*1 1/2 hrs later*

James stumbled into the room. Alcoholic sent filled our room. But the way he walked in here I could tell he was no longer drunk.

He walked over to me and kissed my head and then my lips.

"I'm so sorry baby. I didn't mean it. I should stop drinking, but work stresses me out. You know that. I'm so sorry for breaking you all these years. Happy 21st birthday baby." James said.

I mumbled randomness so he would think I was asleep. He climbed into bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

Tonight is the night.

abuse parts were wrote by my best friend invisibletolife. We were in 8th grade at the time. I have went through after in publishing everything and fixed plot holes and grammar mistakes. The parts not republished are still being either heavily edited or is still in the process of being written. I hope you enjoy this story my little gothic kittens. Rereading this chapter honestly made me cry because I miss all my friends from middle school, including the lovely human who helped write this chapter what feels like forever ago. I'll be graduating in June and it's a scary thought. But I walk across that stage I'm screaming my current favourite P!ATD song. Please give me feed back on where you want to see this end up. I'm currently still writing this and I'm still working on a plot.