I haven't written anything sad in a while so, here you go.
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I thought I meant the world to you. That you loved me. I thought I was the whole world to you. That I was the only thing that mattered. That's what you told me, I assumed it was true because I believed in everything you said. I let you lead me on into a facade of nothing but love. I spent all those years with you. Through all those times that I helped you with problems that arose over the years.
Little did I know that I was a problem.
I wasn't enough for you. I tried to be, believe me. I gave you my all. And what did you give me? Half of you, apparently. I put all my love in, Avi, where was yours? In a different person. You seemed to not put all your love into our relationship and I could tell. Yet, I still wanted to act as if you still loved me. I just wanted to grasp onto that little bit of hope that I still had left. The little strand of hope that kept me going.
Because I didn't want to lose you.
You were the best thing to happen to me. You made me feel worth every single thing. I just wanted to please you. Screw my feelings, I wanted to be part of you. We could've been a unit. I would've put everything on the line, just to make you feel better.
I look down at my finger at what could've been. The diamond in the ring reflecting light into my eyes. Blinding them. Making them water. Or was the water there already? Crying was a thing that I had done so much.
I wasted my time with you. It hurts me to say but I wasted my time with you. You led me on. Especially with this ring. I was foolish to think that you'd actually marry me. I was foolish to think we could actually have a life together. Yet there I was, like putty in your hands.
I'm left with two options. Hold onto the ring and keep those painfully precious memories or throw it away, watch it burn in a fire, melting all my pain away. Feeling a weight lift off my chest. Being able to breathe.
But I don't want to breathe.
Not without you. You were my air and now I'm struggling to breathe.
You've managed to forget about me. Am I a nothing but a memory to you? Was I a void on your life? An empty space. You were a huge part of my life. Was I not that for you?
I guess our love didn't resonate in your mind since you've forgotten about me. I'll remain in the back of your memory. You'll remember me as a one time fuck, I guess.
When you look back at our relationship, what do you see? What do you call us?
We had nothing in your mind.
In my mind I'll always remember our relationship as a beautiful one that parted too quickly. But I was nothing in your mind. We were nothing in your mind.
Our love will remain untitled.
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thank you for reading.
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*sings* Goodbye!
