Hikaru X Kaoru (HostClub)

The Loss of a Brother

Kaoru's Point of View:

Hikaru sat closer to me than he usually did today, I hardly had elbow room. It must have been because of the rumor. I could tell he wasn't angry at me. The disappointment only felt worse. He wrapped his arm around me in between flocks of guests. When he leaned over me once, I could feel his lips gently brush against mine for a split second. I blushed, looking down at my hands, they we're folded in my lap, then leaned my head against his shoulder. So this is what love feels like, it's kind of painful. It hurt to the point where my chest throbbed every time I saw him, my older brother. I couldn't take my lovesick mind off of him, it drove me crazy!

"You're in love with your twin... That's not normal." I told myself, over and over again.

 

Later in the day, we were finally home. I hurried and took a shower, and tried to think while the warm water washed away the dirt from my skin and worries from my mind. Thinking only failed me, Hikaru kept crawling into my mind even when I resisted. I finally gave up, letting my mind wander into a fantasy. I let myself imagine him embracing me, kissing me, making love to me... I remembered him naked again and hardened. I tried to talk it down, but not even my hand worked. I heard a small knock on the door and Hikaru's voice. I couldn't understand everything he was saying over the roar of the water and the thick bathroom door.

"What did you say, Hikaru?"

"I asked if you were okay!" He yelled.

"I'm fine!" I said loudly.

"What?"

"I'm well!"

"You fell? I'll help you!"

"No!" I shrieked, but it was too late. He barged in, scanning my body. I blushed, hoping he wouldn't notice that I was covering my erection with a small hand and wash cloth, or the fact that precum was everywhere.

"Where does it hurt, Kaoru?" He asked concerned and took a step closer.

"I told you I didn't fall." I answered.

"Oh bosh. I head a loud noise outside of the door, and I thought you were calling me."

"I was... I dropped the soap bar. That's all." I lied, I know he would be disgusted to know I was jacking off to him. I didn't even realize I was calling out his name!

Hikaru stars at me another moment before leaving. I sighed, drying myself. I walked into our bedroom and put on pyjamas. Hikaru just kept staring and staring with an unwavering blank expression. That is, until he noticed I knew he was staring. A small blush hit his cheeks.

"I-I wasn't watching!"

"I didn't accuse you."

"Oh..." He was still flustered.

"Beloved big brother, I understand that you were lost in thought." I said, but he mumbled something under his breath that I just barely heard.

"... Lost in dirty thought..."

"You were?"

"No!"

"About who? Tell me." I asked a bit defensively.

"It's nothing Kaoru!"

"If it's nothing then why are you yelling at me?"

"I don't know!" Hikaru screamed, "I love you!" Hikaru yelled, but then realized what he said. He blushed, sprinting for the door without a second thought.

"Did... Did he really just say that? No... He couldn't have... My hearing must be trying to pull at my heart strings. Yet, if I heard wrong. Why did he run? Where could he have gone? He couldn't have gone to... There? Could he? He can't. I love him too much. He doesn't know anything. He might try to..." My morbid. Thoughts sent threatening shivers down my spine. If I didn't hurry, I wouldn't have a brother to love. I raced outside, Hikaru was always the more athletic one. My body was pathetic and weak, I was already out of breath but pushed forward. I saw his bike thrown carelessly to the ground near a tree, and him standing on the edge of a rock that jutted straight up. He drew a deep breath, and even from the small distance I was from him I could see the look of hurt in his eyes and tears that streamed down his face, he took a step forward.

"Hikaru!" I yelled with the last of my strength and panted heavily, "Don't... I need you! I lov..." That was all I remember before falling to the ground with no strength. I ran a mile in under 8 minutes, where he had his bike. The last thing I saw was him jump from the shorter side of the rock, rushing to my side and grasping my hand. I could just barely make out his last words before I passed out.

"It's okay Kaoru. I'm here."