Alpha's Long Lost Daughter

Chapter Fourteen~Remembering The Past

It all started when we were fifteen. So many things happened and I just couldn't handle life anymore. I did try to attempt suicide but Ryis was there and talked me out of jumping from the bridge. From there I guess you could say things got better. He asked me out on a few dates and then asked if I'd be his girl friend. He was my first everything. My first kiss, hug, make out, even sex partner.

The day before I turned sixteen I got some news that I never expected to get. I was pregnant. It was Ryis's. I didn't let anyone know besides Ryis and he was amazingly supportive. But then he left.

He just left me alone three months into the pregnancy when I had to tell the Trudel's something about why I was getting so big. I didn't know what to do, I was a little pregnant girl in a gigantic new world. It was odd.

As time went on, the little child in me grew until I had to go to the hospital. My water broke two months early. I didn't want this baby to die and I didn't want to be a fault of her death.

After she was born she was rushed off to NICU where she was cared for by many nurses and doctors. I honestly had lost hope. I didn't think she would live. I thought that I had lost my boyfriend, the man who got me pregnant with her, and I was going to lose her as well. I felt like fate was playing some rude trick on me, that I can't be losing everything I love.

One night I went home from the hospital and I tried, I tried to die. I didn't know what else to do. I though, if the baby is going to die then I should too.

The Trudel's found me in a pool of my own blood. Thought to was dead but I wasn't. I was in a coma for three weeks after that.

When I woke, the baby was still alive and healthy as a horse. I decided to give her up for adoption. I thought she would have a better life without the disappointment that was her mother. It broke my heart but in did what I felt was best for her.

I never saw Ryis again. I shut down and only let Fay in. She had her ways which I guess I now know.

I was sick and tired of life and so I went back to that same bridge hoping that maybe, just maybe, Ryis would return and try to stop me from jumping again.

He didn't.

I just stood at the edge and looked down at all the traffic moving fast down the highway. I broke down when Fay found me and pulled me away from the edge. I didn't want to live anymore and I didn't think I deserved to either.

~*~

I tell Sophia everything as we sit on her bed and I just hug a pillow and hold back the tears that threaten to run down my cheeks.

I have never told this to anyone. My suicide attempts are always covered because I cut myself on the stomach so no one would ever see.

Sophia now knows everything big about my past. Things that I don't intend on telling Zander for a while.

"Hey, what do you say we go out and get some lunch from the diner down on the board walk?" Sophia asks with a trying smile on her face.

"Honestly I think that's just what I need. Let's go." I smile back and get up out of bed.

Now I just have to wait for the day that Ryis comes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It's been a long time and I'm sorry I've just been caught up in the back to school shopping and a whole bunch of family stuff, not to mention soccer games. 

But here I am with another update and I hope you like it!

Xoxo,
Maddie.