Another Way Around

Chapter Three

You tried, you tragically failed, move on and start over. I said this to myself in front of the mirror. The prom was over and I never saw myself as a princess again. On my way to school, I keep on thinking how I will approach Jake and Matea.

 On the gate just beside the guard, Gino showed up.

“Hey! How’s your sleep?”

“Why in the world would you care about my sleep?”

“HAAHAAAHAHAHA!”

He laughed hard that made me want him to get on his throat.

“Whoa, I’m sorry Gab, look, I know you’re having a hard time now, but you have no choice but to be with me”

“What?!”

 “Jake and Matea are now together. Don’t you think it’s a little awkward to still be with them?”

He has a point. But thinking I’d be with Gino for the rest of my high school days, that’s terrifying. Being with him last night doesn’t mean he can replace Jake and Matea as my best friends.

We walked through the room. Jake and Matea are sitting together, laughing as if nothing happened last night. I took the seat beside Gino. For the whole class, they didn’t approach me. The next day, I sit again beside Gino. We are like this for a week. The next Monday, Matea finally approach me.

“Gab I’m sorry”

I didn’t answer. As if I know what to say.

“Gab please..”

“You don’t have to say sorry. I realized I can’t be selfish especially to Jake and you. You both love each other, then so be it. But I think it will take time before I can go with you two again.”

A long paused.

“I understand….thank you,” she said then walked away.

I looked down and tears fell drop by drop but I wiped it hurriedly. I don’t want anybody to see me crying…. again.

On my way home, I saw Jake. I kept my eyes on my phone, pretending I didn’t see him or notice at all.

“Sorry Gab,” Jake said.

I stop.

“You are beautiful Gabrielle”

“But not as beautiful as her,” I replied bitterly.

“Let’s not end with this, look I do love you”

“But not the way you love her”

He paused and looks like he went out of words.

Suddenly, I feel guilty. I know I have to let them go, knowing that the greatest expression of love is setting the one you dearly love free with or without the assurance that they will ever come back.

“I love you Jake and I believe more than Matea could ever love you. But I know you love her and you are holding back because you care about my feelings. I’m not going to be selfish this time. Stop thinking about me, I can get over it. Love her with freedom, beyond infinity, without grumbling, love her more than every girl could ever imagine.”

I forced a smile.

“Thank you” then he hugged me tight.

I can’t explain the feeling at that moment. I never thought setting the one you love free is as painful as this and that the more you love people, the more you become so vulnerable and so fragile.

When he left, tears dropped again. Gino squeezed my arm from my back.

“It is neither Jake nor Matea than you set free, but yourself,” Gino said.

 “I just want him to love me, to see me beautiful when I play my piano, to be romantic in me under the moon, to look at me as I sleep, to eat with me, to laugh at my mess, to just accept me as I am,” then tears pour.

“You are beautiful Gab. Beautiful more than you think.”