Rhapsody

constellations: draco

the first night.
11:23 p.m.

i sneak out of the house
because i can't stand it any more.

it's suffocating in there;
not just the silence, not just the
darkness. the shadows.
the empty rooms. the way
every little sound i make
echoes
back to me.

i walk the streets quickly,
hands in my pockets.
i pull the hood over my head
and keep my head down.

at night,
dressed darkly,
i can blend in
with
       the
            shadows.

it's at least
twenty minutes
before i realize which direction
my feet have been taking me,
unconsciously:
the clearing.

i spin on my heel
and cross the street in
the opposite way
almost as soon as this
realization hits;
because i do not want
to be confronted by
memories
just yet.

i come to the rounadabout
and climb over the bushes -
pretending i don't notice
the flowers i'm crushing -
until i reach the statue in the middle.

i sit down, leaning my back against it,
and look upwards.

there are not
many stars
one can see from the city.

i wish i knew all the
constellations,
so that i could find
his.

but all i know
is its name
but that doesn't help at all,
because i had known
his name, too -
draco, just like the blond-haired boy
from harry potter -
but i had not
known him.

(truly)

(wellenough)