Living High School to the Fullest (Completed)

Chapter 35: Diner Talk

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RECAP

Just as I was unlocking my car, I noticed something lying on the ground. I picked it up to take a closer look, the street light  shining on it from above.

It was a piece of a bumper sticker. Maybe Aaron's little bumper sticker philosophy wasn't as farfetched after all. You had to take risks every now and then, deal with all the good things and the bad things, or you weren't living at all, I realized while reading that torn apart piece of wisdom.

The End

Chapter 35

Hey, I recognized that bumper sticker piece. It was from Aaron's sticker saying Avoid Life. It Will Kill You In The End. He must have removed that sticker, put up a new one here in the parking lot, and littered again. If Lauren had seen this, she would have thrown a temper tantrum.

Maybe there was a career for me as bumper sticker slogan designer? My canvas bags slogans had been pretty successful. And I already had an idea for a slogan for the bumper sticker I could put on my mother's car: Avoid Love. It Will Break Your Heart In The End.

With a sigh, I unlocked the door and climbed inside. I sent a quick text to all of my friends, letting them know that I had left. And then I headed home.

Since the winter ball marked the beginning of our Christmas break, there was no more school for me this year. Just as well. More time for me to get over Josh. Uh, I couldn't believe it. That was so typical of me! Only realizing that I was crushing on a guy when it was too late.

Why couldn't I have had that particular epiphany one day earlier? Just one day?

But no. Sarah Adams has to be the one person who is so clueless when it comes to her own feelings that the term clueless doesn't do her any justice.

This called for cluelesslesslesslesslesslesslessness.

The only silver lining I was able to see in the whole heartbreak mess I was in: I've never had a chance with Josh anyway. He obviously was still very much into Kate. And the only other girl he remotely had looked at in that way had been Emma.

Emma. My beloved, bewitched-by-Brian best friend. Yep. After all the misunderstandings and the extremely cruel week both of them had when they hadn't been on speaking terms, they were now permanent residents of cloud number nine.

It was so cute! I was so happy for them. I truly was!

And I was extremely jealous. I truly was.

I was a horrible friend. Somehow, the dynamics in our little group of five had shifted. Not very surprisingly. I mean, Brian and Emma were now officially dating – to the delight of both of their parents. I swear, Emma's parents were only by a hair shy from throwing an our-only-daughter-had-picked-the-most-perfect-boyfriend party. They were ecstatic!

So yeah, them being a couple was so not-weird and weird at the same time. Luckily, Brian felt the same way about showing public displays of affection like I did. Holding hands and such were fine by me, but I didn't really need to see them doing anything that crossed that line.

Aaron had been surprised by this development as much as I had; Dinah, on the other hand, had suspected something along those lines. She hadn't said anything, though, because she believed it was best not to meddle.

Since it was Christmas, family time and vacation time, I naturally didn't get to see as much of my friends as during school. Only Dinah knew about me having a crush on Josh. When I had told her  about me finally realizing at the winter ball that I had developed serious feelings for him, she simply shrugged and said that she had suspected something along those lines.

Sometimes I really wanted to smack her!

Anyway, the funk I was in was nothing like I had ever encountered before in my life. It was pathetic. The most stupid little things reminded me of him.

Grapefruits. Because we had a stupid discussion about their name.

Muffins. Because they were his favorite food group.

Ice cream. Because he created the ice cream muffin.

Paper. Because I taught him how to play paper ball.

As I said: pathetic.

Even worse. Pathetictictictictictictictic.

And we hadn't even been a couple! Not even a single kiss had happened between us.

Oh. Kiss. That reminded me of the way he looked underneath the mistle toe at the winter ball. When he was just about to kiss me. Every five minutes I congratulated and mentally kicked myself at the same time for not having kissed him then.

I hadn't heard anything from Josh.

Okay. Not entirely true. He had sent me a text message saying      merry x-mas! j.

The message was still saved and I looked it at a couple of times per day. No need to tell me. I was very much aware of it bordering on insanity. I won't even mention that the knotted spoon he had given me for my birthday was sitting on my nightstand, so that it was the first thing I saw when I woke up and the last thing before I fell asleep.

The only text message I had sent Josh was the following:      thx! merry x-mas. sarah

I couldn't even text with smileys anymore because they reminded me of the gay smiley, and the gay smiley reminded me of Josh. It wasn't even funny how I finally realized what details I had memorized about him. What if I only would have paid attention to them a bit earlier, maybe then...?

Uh. What-ifs never do anyone any good.

I had thought about sending him a text message. I had spent endless hours drafting the perfect text which was never sent:      hi. hope u have a nice holiday. sarah

No, I won't even start to explain why this was the perfect message.

More than one week after the winter ball had passed, and I still wasn't feeling the tiniest bit better. Being at home all day, left to my thoughts, was probably not very healthy. Although I preferred it very much over being back at school where Kate would most likely be parading the hallways with him at her side.