"It's okay, I'm used to losing people I loved."
Before, you are like someone who I could love forever, who could I really rely on. But now, the way you ignore me like we never have something or like we have never been friends, it hurts me even more.
Sorry if I keep comparing you to the friends that made me scared to having you by my side but I'm really cautious. Maybe, that's one of the many reason you're gone. I'm a coward. No. But you promised. Are your promises good to be broken? Reason for even if I pick the pieces up and fix them, it'll never work?
It's okay. I'm used to loosing people I loved. I told you. You're not the only one who have hurted me. You're not the only one who have walked away from my life. And you're not the only one who have come into my life and wounded my heart. The scars they left remain inside. But for you, it'll take time to heal.
I kept trying to stop myself from missing you and I kept trying hard to convince myself, I'm not affected anymore. But the more I try, the more it hurts. It's like me, trying to work after a car accident. And even if I don't like to admit it, I always think of you.
I think of your smile, the way you move, your eyes, your voice. Everything. I missed every composition of you and I missed how it played to me. Sweet, serene, brave, ravaneous, smart and exciting. You're a music who once gave me peace when listening but now, you only brought tears.
I don't want to say, it's time to forget you because you're just breaking my heart again and again. No since I've been doing that for the whole time. Maybe it's time to accept, I'm not going to heal immediately. But I'm going to help myself up. I'm going to stand alone where you have left me lying. And I'm going to see you again. When that time comes, you'll see. I'm different. You'll know what you have did to me, it won't hurt anymore. "I'll make you regret." No. That's cliche but I will make sure when we walk past together, I am not going to avoid you. You'll see me genuinely smiling again but it's not for you anymore. It's for the pains that you brought and how it made me stronger.
I told you, I'm used to losing people I loved. And the more I loose, the more I gain.
