Caspar Lee Imagines

Fan Trouble: Part One

HEY! wow, look at me. updating on this.

This is a new imagine in this book, it has no correlation to the other parts.

* Some triggering words are used in this part, nothing too serious though. This is your warning :) *

Enjoy! :)

You were seated on the tiny bean bag chair in Caspar's room, the one you use when he films.

Tears are prickling down your rosy cheeks, and a silent sob escapes your mouth; you were reading the recent comments on Caspar's new video with you in it.

"Ew she's such an ugly whore, how could Caspar even be near her, neither the less like THAT."

"She's so weird, i don't even ship Jaspar but they would be better than this bullshit of a relationship."

"Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. UGLY!"

"I heard Caspar is only dating her for charity work!"

They didn't stop there. There were even death threats. This have been going on for a couple of weeks and it's just becoming harder. More tears fell and landed on Caspar's large jumper you were wearing. You looked down at the jumper and then around the room.

Were they right? Do you even deserve all of 'this'? All the happiness and so called love.

You felt that they were right, how could he even like you? He deserves someone who can do YouTube, not be so awkward and was actually pretty.

Your thoughts were interrupted by large footsteps and a voice calling your name. You slammed the laptop shut and quickly rubbed your eyes away of any tears.

"Hey baby, want- hey, hey. Are you okay?" Caspar's mood shifting quickly after seeing you so distressed.

"Ye-ah." Your voice fails but you plaster a smile to cover it up.

Caspar eyes your face up, and sits right beside you.

"Y/N , please tell me what's bothering you. I don't want my baby upset." Caspar says with a sympathetic face, his eyes sparkling.

Do you tell him? Would it break him or will he come to his senses in seeing how horrible you really are?

You couldn't hold it in. You just couldn't do it anymore.

You shove your hands into your face and feel the moisture from your weary eyes escape rapidly.

"I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm so so so so so sorry." You said over and over.

You feel large hands creep down to your waist and your pulled into a warm lap.

"Why are you sorry love?" Caspar speaks softly into your matted hair , rubbing your back in small circles.

"...I'm sorry i'm not pretty, that i'm so awkward, and that i'm not good enough for you." You say fast in one crying breathe.

Caspar was silent. Sobs still left unexpectedly from your mouth.

You just wanted to run and hide from the world.

"Y/N,"

You look up from your hands to see Caspar, his face filled with hurt. For a split second you thought it was an act, that he was just trying to let you down "easy".

"Why," He cleared his uneasy voice, "Why would you ever even think that of yourself?"

You stayed silent. Was he blind? Maybe all those fans horrid words were actually reality.

"Y/N, you are one of the best things that has happened to me in this lifetime. I'm where i am today because of you." He paused, looking down at his thumbs.

"Baby, you're so beautiful. I'm sorry for not saying it enough, but you're gorgeous. You're my stars, sun, and moon. I wouldn't function without you." He looks up to meet my face, his eyes shiny.

"Sometimes i feel as if i don't deserve you... however then i feel as if we complete each other. We were both broken pieces that somehow sewed each other back together." Caspar spoke with his whole heart.

It was silent for a bit. You didn't know what to say or do.

.. those comments completely false. Caspar really did care. You felt stupid questioning it, but if enough people said it in the comments- how could it not be true?

"The comments- The comments on our video." I say in a low tone pointing to my laptop.

Caspar reaches for the small laptop, opening it up to the disgusting comments.

You slid off his lap, holding your body close to you, the suspense in him reading the horrid comments was killing you.

Caspar's eyes scan the screen, his face furrowing and his hand falling over his mouth. He scrolls more and more, as you watch a tear fall from his eye.

He slowly closes the computer, staring back at you.

"I-i, " But he had no words for such horrible things.

"You know Y/N, none of those disgusting things are true."

You slowly nod your head feeling new tears fall. Closing your eyes tightly you hear shuffling and you slowly being lifted up.

Caspar was carrying you bridal style, and placed you on his bed. Your fragile body lays lifeless on the soft sheets.

Caspar was right next to you, whispering sweet things into your hair and holding you tight. The tears began to stop momentarily.

You open your eyes to see Caspar's face that was filled with sadness. You just stare into his blue eyes. Neither of you said a word, but the silence said more than any words could.

He slowly placed a kiss on your forehead. He stayed there, leaning his own forehead on your own.

The words hurt more than expected; You could take hate. You weren't one to take it so hard.

But this was; different.

Caspar.

Caspar made it different. You cared so deeply on how he saw you, and what he thought. You were always very self conscious and almost hated your body.

You always over thought, like you are right now. The more you thought , the more you cried.

These comments felt like 1,000 swords being stabbed fast and furiously into your heart; whilst millions screaming into your face all your flaws and insecurities.

You felt so weak.

You felt so attacked and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry."

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OH MY GOD HEY!

Thoughts????

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much love xx