Michael Clifford imagines

Your thoughts come back to haunt you

A/N: if you get upset or triggered reading about self harm or blood please don't read this, stay happy beautiful.

You've been stressed lately due to the amount of work you're doing, nearly everyone is putting pressure on you. Even Michaels fans aren't helping, you know most of them like you but there are some that don't. You've always said that it's okay for them not to like you but the thing that's upsetting you is some of hate you get.

You know you should ignore it and forget about it but recently more and more of Michaels fans have been sending you hate.

You told Michael about some if it but you stopped telling him because he was worrying about you too much.

Michael knows you've come from a rough place, not physically but mentally. You used to self harm and your self hate almost got the best of you but Michael stepped into your life at the right time and saved you.
You'd hate for him to know that the thoughts are creeping back into your head, you'd hate for him to know the feelings are one step from taking over again.

You've been wanting to self harm for a couple weeks now, you haven't told Michael much about it but you've pushed the thought out of your head, until now.

You woke up alone at nearly 12pm, Michael had left you a note on your bedside table. 

Hey baby,
I let you sleep because I know you needed to, you've been working hard lately and deserve a good sleep. I'm at the studio and should be back at 4 if we finish the new song. I love you,
Mikey xxx

You smiled at the note, loving the fact Michael went to work, quietly, and let you sleep but left a sweet note for you to wake up to.
You decided you get out of bed because you were hungry, after you ate you checked Twitter and Instagram.

The first thing you saw was a tweet about you. Someone had a picture of you without makeup and in somewhat baggy clothes. The person had wrote "fat and ugly, why does Michael even like her?!"

You then made the mistake of reading through what people had said about that picture.

@/someone: she's so annoying, I hate the fact she's with Michael, they need to break up

@/person: that picture is horrible she's horrible, why is she even alive?!

@/somebody: Michael shouldn't be dating a girl like that!

Those words were enough to make your decision final without thinking it through.
You walked to your bedroom and got out a small box you keep in your bedside table drawer. Inside the box was the blade you used in the past. You held the tears back as you made your way to your bathroom.

You closed and locked the bathroom door behind you even though you were alone. You held the blade in your fingers. Something was stopping you, you couldn't put the blade to your skin.
You wanted to see the blood leave your body, you wanted to feel pain but something in the back of your mind was telling you to stop.

You cried as you spoke out loud to yourself.
"I deserve this, people hate me and don't want me here"

"I should feel pain, the pain will make me forget the pressure people are putting me under"

"The stress doesn't matter anymore, this is what I need to do, nobody cares about me"

You held the blade to the skin of your arm, as you were about to slide the blade across your skin you heard your front door open and slam shut.
Michael was home, early.
You panicked and froze not knowing what to do. You cried, your breath was heavy and your heart was beating quickly.

"Y/n! I'm home early, we finished the-" Michael shouted to you but stopped half way through his sentence.

You tried to steady your crying but it wouldn't work. You wanted Michael to hug you and have him tell you it's all going to be okay but you didn't want him to know how you felt.

"Baby where are you?" Michael shouted but you didn't answer.

"Y/n? Are you in here?" Michael spoke through the bathroom door as he knocked, you couldn't talk, you couldn't even think of words in your head.

Michael tried to open the door but he wasn't able to, you new if he banged and pushed hard enough he would break the lock and open it. You just hoped he walk away, but you knew he wouldn't do that.

"Can you say something please, are you in here?" He asked again.

You couldn't unlock the door now, but you can't hide from Michael forever. You were scared, scared of what Michael might say, scared of what he might think, scared of what he might do.

"Y/n please talk to me, you're worrying me" Michael said as he tried to open the door again. He twisted the door handle over and over again.
You cried harder not knowing what to do or say. You accidentally let out a quiet sob which Michael heard.

"Baby are you crying? Please let me in" he said and started to push against the door harder.

Your legs were beginning to shake from being scared and panicked. You dropped the blade into the sink and fell to the floor. You crossed your legs and covered your face with your hands.

You stopped trying to be quiet now since Michael knew you were crying. He kept asking you to let him as he banged against to door to try and open it.

"Open the door, please let me in" Michael said in a worried voice. He must have threw his full body weight against the door because it sung open.

Michael noticed the blade in the sink before he sat down next to you and wrapped his arms around you.
He lent his back against the bath tub and pulled you sit sideways in between his legs. Your rested your head on his chest listening to his heart beat.

He held you tightly and let you cry for a awhile before talking.
You focused on the beat of Michaels heart to calm you down. His heart was beating fast but slowed down as you calmed down.

Michael reached for some toilet paper and handed some to you for you to wipe your eyes.

You looked at Michael who had a sad look on his face as he looked into your eyes.

"You don't need to tell me everything now, let's just put some comfy clothes on and cuddle until you're ready" Michael said just above a whisper. You nodded before he stood up and helped you up.

He guided you to your bedroom and handed you one of his tops to wear.
You were grateful to have Michael, he does all he can to make sure you're happy. You both take care of each other when you need to.

Later in the day after you and Michael cuddled and he let you sleep you told him everything. He kissed you and told you he'd fix it and make sure everything will be okay.
You trusted Michael, he helped you once before and you know he'll do it again.

A/N: sorry this wasn't the best
Thank you for reading my lovelies