Lost Words

#1

I'm writing this because I always knew that in some point along this year I'd be hurt.
Do you even know what happened? Why I'm running away? No, it's not because of Snoke. I'm going to him but he's got nothing on my decision to leave.
Or grandpa. I mean, uncle Luke didn't say anything about him running away, so this is not me following his example.
Dad, I know I've said more 'I hate you' then 'I love you', but you're a pain in the ass and you know I can't really hate you.
Uncle Luke, I'm sorry for what I'm about to do to the other padawans but but they won't let me go if I don't do it. And I'm sorry for the bad English in this letter but I'm in a hurry.
Mom, I didn't mean to yell at you last night or be rude or force you out of my room. I'm a mess and I know it and I'm sorry I didn't let you help me. But mom. What he did... What he did to me... I can't really stay here.
I can't look at him in the eye anymore. I can't even say his name. He hurt me, mom. He hurt me.
He kissed someone else. When I asked him why he said I'm not unique. Not his only date. When I said I love he said
"You? Ben Solo? The drama prince? Yeah, sure. Shut up, kiddo."
And he forced me. Mom, I couldn't do anything. I was broken so lost. He forced himself in me. He choked me as I tried to scream. He beat me when I tried to set myself free.
He's not perfect, mom. Please don't trust him. I know it's weak and stupid to run, but I can't face Poe him again. I'm sorry.

Love
Ben