You Are Who You Are

The smell of dust and musk permeate throughout my senses as I awake from my never ending nightmare to the sharp light that encompasses my new world. The book I had been reading at night fell to the floor with a thud. I drag my body out of bed and place the book back in its place on my hard rustic bookshelf. I walk towards the white walled bathroom where deep veined cracks appear along the walls and ceiling, the white paint tears along the walls due to the strain of age. I look into the bleak mirror to stare at my deep tan, tired chocolate eyes and my puffy amazon-like hair. I go through my dull morning routine in record time for supper.

The carefree laughter of innocent and jubilant kids surrounds me as they bulldoze towards the table and dig into their food like starved animals. I observe them silently as they laugh and tell each other funny stories. I am able to relax my tense body from that nightmare in the comfortable atmosphere and warmth of my new family here at the institute. I feel a slight tug on my dress as Ramya, one of the younger kids, peers up at me with round innocent hazel eyes and asks in a soft whisper, "Nisha can you please read me one of your fairytale stories again, the one with the magical prince". My gaze softens as I glance down at her and reply in a nourishing tone, "Alright Ramya but only at night, we have classes with the nuns soon". She looked crestfallen as she forgot about our school routine and pouts, "okay, but it's a promise you can't forget!" I smile warmly and pat her head saying, "Definitely, you can count on it".

The day passes, as we get taught in the small, shabby classrooms where the nuns educate us so that we will be open to more opportunity in this vast country. I stare out the clear window and see debris, small houses and huts, clothe lines, and squishy alley ways until finally my inquisitive hawk like eyes catch upon the boys outside playing soccer on their break. The dust swirls around them like a hypnotic and elusive dance as they stride in elegant steps around each other to get to the goal and taste victory. All the boys were sheened with sweat that glistened on their dark skin, their deep coloured eyes set in a tense and concentrated manner as they took this match to a whole new level, almost as if they were versing the world rather than each other in a small squabble of a village in Delhi. We were strained for space, and the community worked together to survive through tough times as I had seen it do this past year. This kind village almost makes me forget that horrible day where crimson liquid burned my soul.

The last bells sound, and the nuns dismiss us. Dusk has now come and we are free to either play outside for a bit or go into our rooms. I enter my room that I share with nine other girls of different ages; I'm seen as the oldest in our group so lots of the kids come to me for advice. I put a clean dress on and lay on my soft springy bed, covering myself with my itchy cotton blanket. My eyelids become heavy and I enter a dark slumber. My heart starts pumping in fast rhythmic steps, as my sheer willpower isn't enough to shield the memories from enveloping me and consuming my soul, yet again, like a vivacious predator.

The nightmare filters through my subconscious and the painful sound of my car screeching and tumbling with a mighty force bombards my senses. Adrenaline courses trough my aqua veins as my torso lays limp and tense. My body feels so heavy and I hear nothing. My eyes feel so heavy, it feels like someone squashed my body. I feebly scrape at the ground and drag my limp torso out of the car with sheer willpower. I'm in such a disgruntled position and my leg feels damp. I look down to see crimson red blood pool around my leg. Trepidation engulfs me, yet it's not my blood but my mothers. Both my parents lay limp and liquid continues to pool out of the car on the road. I vaguely hear my father feebly gurgle, "s...om..o..ne....pl..ease...he..l..pp..my....daugh...t..er". His words violently rip at my heart. In a frenzy I scramble for my mobile to call 108. My body spasms as I fall to the ground and darkness envelops me as the sound "Whee whoo, whee whoo" of the Dehli ambulance surrounds me. Everything goes black.------

I wake up panting and sweating; my body shivers from the cold harshness of that dream as my parents were ripped away from me forever. I'm swamped with loneliness and something catches in my throat.

Suddenly Ramya's little hands pull at my sheet, staring at me with huge twinkling caramel eyes and she whispers in her sweet Punjabi, "Come on are you going to read to me today, pweeze?" Before hearing my answer she promptly hops on my lap and lays down waiting for me to start my story. As I begin, I hear some commotion.

All the girls in the room encircle my bed eager to hear my tales of the magical Arabian prince. I begin the tale in my siren voice enchanting and enthralling them upon the adventure of the prince that searches for his true love. They are enraptured with the story and their eyes sparkle with hopes and dreams.

I take a moment to smile as I remember that I'm not alone I never have been. They were here the whole time, a family. I was just too stuck in the past to feel the warmth that's surrounded me for days. The corners of my mouth move up in a smile, my first genuine bright smile since coming here. I continue watching their adorable naïve expressions as they listen to my tale, and know that I have to protect their innocent smiles and hearts, so they never experience something like that.

With a determined set of my jaw I continue the story reverently vowing to myself that I would get the best job in the world whether it be in England, America or Australia so that I can ensure that these girls and any other orphans will be protected and that no more Indian children will be depraved of a safe haven to sleep and eat. I will return and make 'home of hope India' and other orphanages around India a better place filled with ripe opportunity. After all as my favourite political leader once said, "there's nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered". 

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Hello lovely minions, :D

Hope ya'll had a wondrous day filled with adventure ;)

Give me a shout out through messages on how you guys are doing :)

I know it's not a new chapter but it's a new story, one that i felt like posting up since i'd been juggling with it for a while. And i really enjoyed writing the story and the themes it addresses in different parts of people's lives. So i hope you guys enjoy it or get inspired to do something from the story.

I know that sad things do happen in people's lives, this story included. So i want anyone whose had a painful experience in their life to stay strong and remain fighters, never lose hope. Even when you guys feel like something is too painful or hopeless i want use to know that there is always light, whether it's during the day or at night with the bright twinkling stars. So always be hopeful and strong guys!!! And remember there is always someone out there supporting you, including ME :D xxxx

Lots of love to my readers xoxoxo 

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