Until the bitter end.

Chapter 10: Issues.

"Alex, hey baby. It's okay. I'm here, okay? I'm 'ere babyboy."
Miles whispered into my ear before i opened my eyes.
"H-he's coming for me.-" i cried, "-h-he's go-going to hurt me."
"Hey, listen. That won't happen, yeah? I'm here and i will protect you. You don't have to worry, laa. If that sucker ever tries to touch you again, i will beat his ass. I promise."

Something about Miles' words made me feel safe.
Something in his voice made me feel worth something, but i don't know what.
Am i really worth all this? Does he really want to marry me?
All i will ever be is this, this emotional guy trying to get to the surface but this ocean keeps holding me down.

Mom always told me someday i would find someone who made me feel like i deserve something.
Miles makes me feel that.
Miles makes me feel like i deserve to be loved, like i'm worth it.

"D-do you really love me?" I asked.
"I don't love you; i adore you."

-_/\_/\/\_-

When i'm sad Miles takes a day just so he can take care of me, and today was one of those days. Which feels amazing.

"So, do you want to watch a movie, kitten?" He asked, bringing his pc to the bed where i was lying.
"Uhm. N-not really, Mi. I just... I just want some hugs, please."
He looked at me with a smile on his face and eyes that just said "i understand".

From all the beautiful things i've seen in life, he's the one that could bring me down to my knees.
Miles has some sort of power on me, something that turns me into something or someone i am not.

"Did you know you're flawless, baby?" He said, leaning down to kiss my forehead.
I felt something i've never felt before.
Nostalgia?
It's not that, for sure.

When you're in love, everything seems to be fake. Everything could be part of just a dream, straight out from a fairytale.
Being in love is like being in drugs; you're addicted to this feeling. You become addicted to your partner saying that they love you, that they care about you. All those beautiful words.

I became addicted to Miles when he first told me he loves me, and when you finally accept that you're addicted to something it starts to slowly kill you. The thing is that love wouldn't kill you, right?
Miles wouldn't do that to me.

But, as we all know, when you try to leave behind your "bad habit", you start to slowly kill yourself.
And i would never leave Miles.
When i'm with him, i feel like spring, birds, flowers and butterflies sorround me, even in December; yet, the only thing i question myself is: Does he feel the same?

"What are you thinking about, kitten? Still feeling sad?" He asked while we cuddled.
"How do you feel about me?"
"I'm addicted to you. The way you are, the way you walk, the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you play with your hair and the way your cheeks blush when i say naughty things, the way you dress and just... Everything. I'm so fucking in love with you, Alexander. You can't even imagine how much i love you."

Maybe i found out that he's just as fucked up as me. Maybe we're both living for each other, or maybe not. Maybe we're just too deeply in love, and this won't ever die. Or maybe, maybe this will end up in a bad way.
Somehow, i'm insecure about everything that sorrounds me. I mean, this man is marrying me, right?
He wouldn't hurt me, right?

If Miles had the chance to leave me, would he do it?

"I adore you." I whispered, as a tear rolled down my cheek.
"Hey, don't cry sweetheart. I'm here, princess. Everything will be okay. Please baby, don't be sad. I just want my little boy to be happy and smiling again." Miles replied, kissing my cheek and then my neck, his thumb made circles on my hips and all i could feel was his breath in the back of my neck.

Maybe i was living the dream.
Maybe this isn't real.

Miles kept leaving kisses on my neck while his left hand played with my hair and his right hand was on my hips.
"Do you want me to make you feel better, babyboy?"

I simply nodded.

I just can't wait for love to destroy us.