Until the bitter end.

Chapter 12: The beach.

The first day of october.

My wedding is in just two months!

Obviously, all this is unbelieveable for me. Just too precious. Sometimes i can't even handle it, so i cry of happiness. Sometimes the stress overwhelms me, so i cry because i feel useless. Mi is always there for me, telling me that everything will be okay and that i don't have to worry about it 'cause "it'll get done.", as he says.

It's just lovely.
My "bridesmaids" are going to wear beautiful outfits we picked together, and Arielle decided to join the team too! So now, it's Jen, Nick, Arielle and me.

Isn't it beautiful how life can change in so many ways?
Years ago i was suffering because life wasn't as pink as everyone told me it would be. I was abused, depressed and just tired of living, tired of being myself; but it all changed when Miles came along.
Sometimes life won't change by itself, sometimes you'll have to make it change, sometimes someone will come and change it for you.

Miles makes me happy, and i would never leave him. I adore him.
From all the beautiful things in this world, his smile is my favourite one, and the way he treats me, the way he hugs me and kisses me whenever i need it.

It's perfect.

"Baby. Laa, do you want to go to the beach?"
I heard a voice calling me from outside the bedroom.
"Uhm... It'll be pretty chilly, don't you think so?"
"Hey. It's okay. I promise i'll keep you warm babyboy.-" Miles entered the room peacefully and walked to where i was sitting, the bed; "-Call Jamie and the guys, yeah? I'll call Ari, don't worry." He said, kissing my forehead and hugging me tightly.

"Alright, Mi."

-_/\_/\/\_-

The car was slowly getting closer and closer to the beach, and it was in fact a chilly day here, so everyone was wearing shorts and a hoodie.
I was glad no one questioned my choices for today.
High waisted shorts and a blue blouse; girls things, right? Well, Miles said it looked cute on me and that gave me a boost of self esteem.
He always does that, he always ends up making me feel pretty and all that, i find it lovely.

Right now with Miles driving and me in the seat next to him, and the guys in the back singing some weird songs about the beach, all i could think about is this moment. The present.

How can i make this last forever?
Is it even possible?
"Maybe i worry too much." I whisper to myself, hoping no one would hear me.
"Hm? Did you say something, laa?" Miles said without taking his eyes off the road.
"No, i uhm... I'm okay."
"C'mon love-" he hold my hand, "-Is there something going on? You can trust me, baby."
"I'm okay." I replied, smiling at him as he took his eyes off the road for a second just to look at me.

"And we're here!" Miles yelled, stopping the car and waiting for everyone to notice we were, in fact, in the beach.
As soon as Miles opened his own door, everyone else escaped the car quickly and reached for their stuff, then, ran into the sand and took off the extra layers they were wearing.
Miles and I were just watching them as they ran like little kids and giggled when Matt tripped and his face got covered in sand.

"Mi?"
"Mhm?"
"Do you really want to share your life with me?"
"I don't want to share only my life with you, laa. If death does us apart and in another life we find eachother again, i want to share that life with you as well. If we just die and go to hell or heaven, i want to share my death with you. I want everything with you, Alex. I adore you." He said, his voice slowly cracking. Maybe because of the idea of death.
"You're the best fiancé someone could wish for." I giggled, looking at him and tip-toeing to kiss him.
"No, you are. And don't argue with me on this or you'll get punished." Miles joked and hugged me.

"Come 'ere you plonkers!" Matt yelled, trying to keep himself balanced between the waves.

Before joining the guys, Miles pulled me closer to him and whispered "I adore you." once again.

-_/\_/\/\_-

"Woah! What a day, eh? Can't believe it's late night and we're still here." Jamie said, looking at the bonfire in front of us where we were roasting marshmallows.

The beach was peaceful and the night was quiet. Matt and Nick were hugging and Jamie sat by himself in front of the bonfire. Miles and i were hugging too, eating marshmallows with our friends.

"Guys, what are we doing after this?" Matt asked.
"Well we're going home and probably-" I tried to reply but was suddenly interrupted by Matt, explaining himself;
"No, not like... Right now. But after these years. Our future. What are we going to do?"

No one even tried to reply.

"Guess we're just testing our luck by now, Matty." Miles said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the group.
Everyone watched how the flames were moving, alive and fully empowered.
"Let's live the present." Jamie exclaimed.

After some seconds of silence, someone turned on the radio and we all smiled.
"Let's dance, guys."

Matt, Nick, Jamie, Miles and I stood up, shaking off the sand in our clothes and moving to the beat of the music.
"I'm freezing." I whispered to Miles who had his hands hooked on my hips.
"'Ere-" He let go of me and took off his oversized sweater, giving me it and i quickly had it on. "My baby needs to be warm."
He took me by my waist again and i hooked my hands around his neck, resting my head on his chest as we slowly moved to the music.
Everyone was dancing in their own way.
Nick and Matt were playing with Jamie while the music played, they giggled and laughed as little kids and i swore to god this was the best night of my life; as i was sorrounded by the people i love, and i felt alive.

I looked up to Miles and tip toed to kiss him.
"I never needed anyone until i met you."
"I wasn't alive until i met you, Alex."

All the tears, all the nights that i spent crying, all the bad moments, all those moments where i felt like i would die drowning in sadness led to this.
Happiness.

And it felt like inside my heart it was warm, while on the outside it started to pour.
Love can kill you, believe me.
But a little death never hurt anyone.