TW/ abuse
I'm sorry but I love you ought to be more than simply empty little words though once they flowed so easily unmeant yet uttered repeatedly young and naive, each lie believed no mercy granted, foolish me like a moth drawn to the flame but a pawn in a heartless game too late I discovered your deceit
and yet from you I learned the truth saying I love you doesn't mean a thing but yet when you say it my heart gets warmer than a summer day.
There was love in his eyes. was. He was just a memory that finally started fading away.
I love you ― he said too many times to me like a soft melody it sounded like magic it felt
but at the very end he really never meant it!
You'll always be like a mystery to me – one I'll never find a way to discover all the truth that once lied behind it. My face turns red and butterflies my tummy get whenever you stare at me but not because of your looks but because of your way of controlling my mind. I say I want the kisses between my thighs and right below my belly button. I say I want the rough hickeys but do I really?
I say I miss the "I love you's" I miss the careful touches in the dark that left me feeling illuminated ,as if I were the sun. The sun, that's what you used to say I was. The sun, the moon, every star, and every constellation that makes up the galaxy.
I never feel good.
Feeling good is an empty promise
it is a childhood bully that
pretends to be your friend before
it pushes you in the sand
and yells
"Sike!"
Feeling good is sitting
in a white room,
at a white desk,
with a person in white
on the other side.
(I imagine it's the devil)
"And how do you feel today?"
Grinding glass between teeth,
pouring vinegar
into wounds
making bad decisions to the beat of a song,
shrinking lungs—
"I'm alive."
It is not a lie.
I am alive,
and it is
still not enough.
Because of the bruises, the scars, the blood, the scrapes, and the broken hearts you have given me I can't feel anymore pain. I'm broken like a dropped plate on hardwood flooring with all of my scattered, sharp shards cutting the fingertips of anyone who tries to put me back together.
It's all your fault.
YOU ARE READING
you make me happy
RomanceThis is lot a love story. This Book contains self harm, abuse, and other trigger warnings. I will post TW's before each chapter. Please check out my other works I post a chapter a week depending on my schedule.
