ASLEEP // A DOVE AND RYAN FAN FICTION.

Chapter 11// Hating myself.

DOVE'S POV:

I guess i hadn't made it to my bed because I woke up, lying on my couch, my arms and legs spread out as if i was doing star jumps in my sleep.

An empty packet of chips were lying on my chest, and a mug of cold coffee sat on the table in front of me.

I rubbed my eyes and looked around.

The TV was still on.

I had fallen asleep watching family videos.

My sister was tickling me and i was laughing hysterically.

I could hear my dad's voice in the background..I smiled.

Rolling off the couch, i stood up, and walked to the guest room where Ryan was sleeping. I smiled at his gaping mouth and messy hair.

I decided to leave him alone, he looked so peaceful and it was probably the best he'd slept since the accident.

I made myself breakfast, ate it, checked social media, then sat back on the couch again.

I was bored and i had no idea what to do..Ryan was sleeping so i couldn't talk to him, and as i picked up my phone to ring my sister i realized it was only 6:21am! No one normal wakes up at that time, i guess that's saying something about me!

I walked back into the guest room, climbed into the bed beside Ryan, and lay my head on his chest.

I could hear his heart beating.

It sounded like a drum..

My eyes began to close..they were getting droopier and droopier...

RYAN'S POV:

I woke up to see Chloe resting her head on my chest.

I smile, kiss her forehead, and wrap my arms around her.

I hear her giggle quietly then her eyes flutter open.

She turns to face me and kisses me quickly on the lips. I smile, stroke her hair and yawn.

I look over to where my alarm clock is stood and stretch my arms. I was about to get out of the bed when i remembered that wasn't going to be possible for a couple of weeks.

"Chlo can you..?"I began, before she cut me off by smiling sweetly and saying "Of course"

She walked out of the room, then came back in pushing my wheelchair..

Well..it wasn't necessarily 'my' wheelchair, and i didn't want it to be! As soon as could walk again i was going to get it as far away from me as possible..and then maybe things could go back to normal!

Getting me into it was the hard part as i was so much taller and heavier than she was but we made it work..kind of?

I did end up almost breaking my neck when Chloe tried to pick up my legs and i tumbled forward, falling to the floor. 

She helped me up and massaged my neck as there was a tight knot in my spine.

I hated this.

I hated feeling so childish, and being unable to walk, make my own lunch and go running took a toll on me because i ended up shouting at Chloe...

I didn't want to..it just happened..like the accident..i didn't see it coming..

The words just blurted out my mouth

"You're useless!"

As soon as i said it i wanted to turn back time. I hated myself. 

I don't know why i said it..it was for some stupid reason..

I don't even remember why i said it..i guess..i was just..pouring all my anger and sadness out of my body and blaming everything on Chloe!?

But why?! Why would i do that!?

I loved her so much and nothing was going to come between us!

I didn't know what to do..she had left the house and was out with her sister..

I just felt like such a fucking idiot! I wanted to text her..and tell her i was sorry..but..no..that was a douche move! You can't feel how sorry someone is through a message on a screen!

And i'd never called Chloe 'useless' before! Why would i!? She is not useless! She was the best thing in my life and she deserved way more than a selfish comment from her fiance!

I had to do something! But i couldn't just get out of my wheelchair and start organizing things!

The most i could do without Chloe's help was get onto the couch which was still a struggle!

She walked back through the front door about 4 hours later, her cheeks red and her hair tied in a messy ponytail. She looked at me for about 1 second then turned away, tears in her eyes. Damn..I had really upset her!

I felt like such a jerk!

Even though she was mad and upset with me, she still helped me out of my sweater and lay me down on the bed.

But what hurt me most is when she didn't kiss me goodnight or even smile at me..and who could blame her..i hated myself too.

Sorry for the long wait people!

Thank you again for all the votes and support my story has gotten over the past couple of days! 

-Alex