My Thoughts

I'm So Tired

March 20, 2002.
The day I woke up.
I haven't slept since.
I hate that day so much.
That day started it all.
The lies.
The hate.
The loss.
The love.
All the pain.
Why haven't I slept though?
Because the pain hurts.
Because the love soothes.
Because I stay up almost every night thinking of all the things that would be different if that one day didn't happen.
I wouldn't have caused all these problems.
I wouldn't have hurt so many people.
I wouldn't feel so much pain.
But them again,
I wouldn't have met such great people.
I wouldn't have such great friends.
I wouldn't have felt the cool breeze of spring.
I wouldn't have felt the ocean kiss my skin.
There is alot of bad.
Too much.
But there is also good.
Just enough.
But I've messed up so much good, that I still wish that day didn't happen.
Still thinking of what would change.
And I am so tired.