Misadventures of a Vampire

There really is a ghost

Sophie or what's-her-face, was very enthusiastic about everything. Everything.

I had started a small farm in one of the rooms, and I discovered, with no end of amusement, that she even enjoyed punching pigs. What added to the hilarity of it was that she was apologising to the pig the entire time,and sometimes complemented it.

I must admit, having her in the house reminded me of why split I from those crazy new bloods and my best friend.

To have fun, live the best of my unalive life. Also because my friend had began to drive me up the proverbial wall with bad jokes and dark humour.

That new girl was strange; I was certain she was taking some of my potions, as I was missing a few from my stocks. But, unfortunately, I lacked the evidence to kick her out. What she wanted with them, I am not aware of.

Slowly, I began to smiled a little more and, once again, every thing was OK once again.

Until, of course, she forced me to eat her bread.

"I'm a vampire, I don't need to eat bread." She shoved it in my face again.

"You need to eat, master. Your pale and skinny and very, very sick looking." She glance at me in concern.

"First off, call me master again and you're out of here, clear?" she nodded quickly in understanding. "Second, it's kind of a vampire thing, you know, to be pale, skinny, and sickly."

"Just- just eat it," She pouted, "please?"

Sighing I took the bread and nibbled it. It would do me no harm to eat it. After I had finished it, I began to feel queasy.

"Did you, by any chance, experiment with my potions? Because, uh, ow, I think I've just been poisoned. "

Tilting her head in confusion, she whispered lowly. "But I didn't touch your potions."

"Must have been the bread. Maybe, as a vampire, I should stick to drinking blood." I exited the alchemy lab we had been talking in, holding my stomach, and moved to turn off the light. "You coming?"

"No." she said, "I'll stick around a little longer. I have a feeling."

I raised an eyebrow.

'What an oddball', I thought.

"You humans are weird." Then I left, making a bee-line to the toilets. "If anything goes missing, you're taking the blame!"

When instead of the replying, she screamed, I knew my life was just about to get that little bit more interesting.

"The ghost! Ahhhh, there's a ghost in there!" she came tearing out the door, nearly ripping it off its hinges, and hide behind me. "Do something!"

"What can I do? I'm not an exorcist." When I turned to leave she grabbed my freezing hand and started to babble.

"He's the one stealing your potions! He's-he's a, a ghost. He's, he's, uh, trying to- to eat my soul! I'm being haunted!" she screeched. "I'm going to die..!"

I sighed and dragged a hand down my face. Now that I think about it, I seemed to be doing that a lot.

"Fine. I'll check it, just, calm down." I spun on my heel and slowly entered the room, peering around.  "Well," I started, "if your ghost was here, he's gone now."

Still spooked, she poked her head around the corner of the door.

"But, but he was there!"

I rolled my eyes, prying off her hands that had latched around my waist. I refused to console a lunatic, especially this one.

My eyes narrowed and twisted my head to glare at her.

"I had stocked up on potions. Where have they gone?"

She stuttered, waving her hands madly. "I didn't take them! I ran out when the ghost just appeared out of nowhere!" She tugged the sleeve of my shirt and pointed. "Over there, on the furnace near your storage drawers."

Carefully, I inspected the area. I felt a shiver run up my spine, a bad feeling in my gut. Being the absolute perfectionist when it comes to my workspace, I immediately zoomed in on the crooked painting above the cooking area.

I straightened it, but it wobbled. A big SNAP! echoed throughout the room.

This day just keeps getting better and better.

"Ahhh!" she yelled, "It's the ghost here to enact vengeance on me!"

"You silly girl, that was the wire that held up the painting breaking. And what have you done that you feel needs revenge?" Multitasking, I gently picked up the edges of the very ugly but expensive painting to inspect the damage. I was lucky that it fell to rest on the oven and didn't break. Ugh, it must have been here before, because I would never put up something so distasteful.

I also wouldn't put it up because it was a fire hazard, not that I used the stove.

"Well, there's that time I stole Mrs. Huddy's pudding, or that time I pushed Timothy down the well, and I cheated in sock wrestling..." She trailed off, and stared at the wall where the painting was hung.

Or, well, lack of wall.

"Oh." she said.

"Something dug through the wall. They also used a painting to cover it up." The edges of the hole were rough and damp. It was extremely dark, like the shadows were swallowing the light. Even with my night vision, it was still difficult to see.

"Can I panic now?" she asked.

"Yes you may." I replied.

XxXxXxX

Bwha?

Sorry it took so long, but I had the entire thing written, and then wattpad failed to save it because "You cannot write from two devices at the same time."

I got so annoyed and angry I couldn't even look at Wattpad for a few days.

::Muggle::