Locked Away (GerIta)

Chapter 33

A/N: HI THIS IS BASICALLY ALL AUSHUN ANGST BECAUSE I WANT IT IN MY STORY IF YOU DONT CARE THEN DONT READ THIS CHAPTER THANKS (the end is IMPORTANT tho so read that if u wanna skip AusHun beautifulness)

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Elizabeth rushed in the front door, squeezing her eyes shut as heavy footsteps followed her down the hallway. She sped up as tears burned her eyes.

"Elizabeth!" Roderich shouted, his voice harsh. "Elizabeth! Stop, STOP!" The Austrian gripped his wife's arm and tugged her back, spinning her on her heel. He bit his tongue as she delivered a sharp smack to his cheek, turning his head.

He'd never grabbed her like that, had never wanted to. How was he supposed to respond to her disappearance?

He lifted his head as he heard her turn away again. "Don't.." He lifted a hand to his mouth as his voice was choked back. "Don't walk away from me."

Elizabeth felt her heart drop as the sob stuck in Roderich's throat caught his words. Her hands shook and she turned to face him, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You can't run away!" He shouted as tears burned his own eyes. "You can't just-!" He swallowed hard and looked up at the ceiling, trying to force his tears back down.

"You weren't.. S-supposed to be back until tomorrow." She cried.

"And that makes this okay?!" He stepped forward and thrust a ring forward. "Leaving your wedding band here for me to see? That makes this okay!?" Roderich's voice rose again. "You didn't talk to me, you didn't even have the decency to call me to talk through this!"

"You wouldn't have come home anyway!" Elizabeth shouted back. "You never come home, Roderich! NEVER! You don't care, you want your operas and your costumes and your goddamn orchestra! To hell with me and my ring!"

"I would have come home." He said gravely, his lower tone somehow sounding even more furious than his shouting. "Elizabeth, I would have ran here."

"Stop lying to me." She scoffed. "Stop lying! You love your opera house more than me, you have your music and your cushioned concert seats! You care more-"

"I care about you."

"YOU HAVEN'T CARED SINCE OUR BABY DIED!" Elizabeth screamed, sobbing heavily as she leaned against the wall, shoulders shaking.

Roderich let himself cry, shaking his head. "My god," he muttered and cupped his wife's face in his hands, kissing her deeply, holding onto her for dear life.

Elizabeth gripped his shirt shakily and let out a tiny sob against his lips. "What are you-"

"I am kissing my wife, Elizabeth." He whispered, connecting their lips again. Roderich sobbed softly and fell to his knees in front of her, kissing her hand desperately. "My wife." He slipped the ring back onto her shaking finger and kissed her palm before holding it against his cheek and peering up at her.

"I love you. I love you more than my music and my opera house and all it's contents." He choked out, tears still coming. "Elizabeth, I had to... I-I.."

"Roderich..." She whispered, heart shattering at the pain written across his face. "Darling, what is it?"

"My work, my music... I threw myself into it after..." He looked away. "After our baby... I couldn't, I-I needed something that made sense, that couldn't be ripped away from me." He took a shaky breath. "So I worked to keep my opera. I was scared, Elizabeth, I'm sorry... I-I was scared to try and be so close with you again... B-because I.."

"The doctors... Roderich, it's impossible-"

"No, not impossible." He squeezed his eyes shut and sobbed. "Ninety-five percent chance of infertility, Liz. Almost impossible." Roderich's hands slid to her hips and he rested his forehead against her stomach. "The other five percent terrified me."

"Why?" She asked softly.

"Because!" He cried out. "Because if I... God, if I... If we conceived again, the doctors still said one-hundred percent chance of still-birth." He choked on a breath and sobbed. "If I put you through that pain... Again." He looked up at her desperately. "If I hurt you like that, I couldn't... I would never forgive myself." He bit his trembling bottom lip.

"Roderich, how could..?" Elizabeth wiped a stray tear from his cheek. "How would that be your fault? You didn't cause me pain."

"But I couldn't stop it... I couldn't stop the pain when you had to give birth, oh god." He whimpered and gripped her hip gently. "I couldn't help you, I was completely worthless and... I couldn't handle myself after.. And now you've married a mess of a man!"

Elizabeth slid a hand into his hair and let him nuzzle against her hip.

"Roderich, you should've told me your feelings." She whispered as she knelt in front of him, brushing his hair back with her hand. "You didn't have to be strong as steel, darling. We would've made it through together."

Roderich sobbed out another apology and she hushed him, hugging him to her chest.

"Shh... It's okay." Elizabeth nestled her nose into Roderich's hair, rubbing his back slowly. "We'll be okay, love."

~

Feliciano listened to his footsteps against the pavement of the sidewalk in the silent night. He puffed out a tobacco-filled breath and placed his lighter in his pocket. The Italian finished his cigarette and crushed it out with the toe of his shoe before he continued walking.

He saw a silhouette appear under a streetlight and watched as the male started walking faster towards him. He felt his heart rate double and he crossed the street.

What if someone frome the camp finally found me?

He swallowed hard as the figure crossed the street after him and he listened as the heavy footsteps got closer. He walked as calmly as possible until a side street appeared and he took off in that direction, fear pulsing through his veins.

The footsteps caught up and a gruff voice called out.

"Stop!"

He sobbed as a large hand clamped around his arm.

"Stop, Feliciano."

His eyes widened at the sound of his voice and he turned to look into those cobalt eyes.

"Ludwig." He choked out breathlessly.

The Italian pulled him in for a desperate kiss and sobbed a little more as the knowledge that this was Ludwig, by the feel of his hands and his lips and his voice sank in. Feliciano, still scared and shaken, fumbled to grip at his jacket.

"Feli," he mumbled, "you taste like cigarettes."

He pulled back slightly. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." The German whispered and kissed him again, chasing the taste, the long-lost addictive flavour. "It's good."

~

To be continued...