Locked Away (GerIta)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

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Feliciano leaned closer but his wrists were still pinned to the wall. His gaze flickered from Ludwig's eyes to his lips.

"I can't let you do that." Ludwig whispered. "I can't let you get close to me."

Feliciano's heart sank immediately and he slumped against the wall. He felt Ludwig's grip loosen on his wrists and he dropped his hands to his sides. The Italian shook his head as the soldier in front of him backed away.

"Feliciano, I will not let you in. I can't." The German stood in the doorway.

"Why?"

"I don't need to explain myself." His stern, demanding voice broke through.

Feliciano swatted at the angry tears that streamed down his face. He stepped forward and grit his teeth as he sobbed.

"You should've just fucking shot me!" He screamed, shoving him back. "I don't want to be led on any more! All those men touching me and trying to get me into their beds! I just want to have somebody who cares..."

The fragile-hearted Italian fell to his knees as he wept, hands trembling violently as he gripped Ludwig's leg. He rest his forehead against his calf, forehead pressed to the leather of his combat boots.

Ludwig stared down at him and wanted to scream again. He looked like the little girl. The girl he couldn't save. The innocent, five year old, Jewish girl that got shot in the head.

I can save this person. I can help someone.

He picked up the sobbing Italian and walked into the next room which happened to be a bedroom. He set him down on the bed and Feliciano pulled him down, lying next to him.

"I couldn't shoot you." He whispered. "I'm attached to you and I don't know why. You're just so beautiful and innocent. Pure and bright in the midst of all this dark violence. But I'm not who you think I am. I am not the German soldier who saved you from getting beaten up last week. I'm not kind or friendly."

Feliciano sniffled and moved closer, placing a hand on Ludwig's heart over his military green uniform. He looked at the stoic soldier lying in his bed.

"I'm a monster." The German continued. "And I don't know how but if this goes further, I will end up hurting you in some way, shape or form."

"You think I haven't been hurt before?" Feliciano's voice was scratchy, sad. "It doesn't matter. It would be my pleasure to have my heart broken by you."

Ludwig felt something swell up inside him. Relief? No.

Joy.

He was about to sit up and start heading back to the camp but Feliciano grabbed his leather-gloved hand and stared up at him.

"Please stay." He said quietly.

Ludwig was hesitant at first but he took off his stiff, astringent uniform jacket and lay it at the foot of the bed, rolling up the sleeves of his pressed dress shirt that they were required to wear underneath and his leather boots. He rest his head on the soft pillow, face mere centimeters from Feliciano's. He felt the Italian shift closer and put his hand on Ludwig's hip.

The German took off his leather gloves and put them to the side before reaching up and cupping Feliciano's face, pad of his thumb slowly stroking his cheek.

I'll be the one who cares.

~

Both men had fallen into a peaceful slumber, Ludwig's arm draped across Feliciano's waist. Everything was silent and dark until someone burst into the room and flicked on the light, yelling the Italian's name.

Feliciano groaned and opened his eyes, watching as Ludwig's own fluttered open. He blinked the sleep from his eyes and rubbed them, his vision clearing up.

"What the fuck?"

He turned to see his brother standing in the doorway, eyes wide as he looked at the German military jacket on the end of the bed. Romano glared angrily at Feliciano and then at Ludwig.

"Feliciano!" Romano shouted, causing his twin to flinch and sit up along with his German friend. "Che cazzo credi di fare?*"

"Romano-" He stopped as he realized his brother's hand was coming down to hit him.

Ludwig lunged forward and grabbed the angry Italian's wrist, ceasing his actions. He stared up at him and tensed his jaw, tightening his grip slightly.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He snarled and then yanked his hand away, wrapping both around Ludwig's throat. "If you come anywhere near my brother ever again, I'll kill you."

Feliciano began to cry as he screamed at his brother to let go and finally shoved him back, into the wall. He watched Ludwig panting hard as he caught his breath.

"You don't get to decide who talks to me!" Feliciano shouted. "I'm not a fucking child! Faccio le mie decisioni maledetti*!"

Ludwig grabbed his uniform coat and got off of the bed, walking out of the room and to the front door. Feliciano ran after him, leaving his brother in the bedroom.

"I still want to see you." He whispered. "Saturday. Its my day off. What do you do on Saturdays?"

"I patrol the fence. I don't want you to come nea-" Ludwig was interrupted.

"I'll be there." Feliciano wiped a stray tear from his face and then had to practically push Ludwig out the door because his brother was approaching again.

Don't be frightened by what you might see, Feliciano. He warned you. He's a monster.

~

Translations

Che cazzo credi di fare? - What do you think you're doing? (Italian)
Faccio le mie decisioni maledetti - I make my own damn decisions (Italian)

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To be continued...