Thank You, I'm Sorry & Goodbye

Chapter 2: Pianissimo

I'll never forget how I met you. You taught me what it meant to live when there was no meaning to it. You taught me that I wanted to exist and brought love into the nothingness I was born into. You showed me that coldness will turn to warmth if one was loved enough. I'll never forget that day.

Everything was quiet. Everything was dark. Everything was cold. I felt nothing and saw nothing. My body was trapped in tight constraints rendering me motionless in this darkness. I was inside a tight bubble with no air passing through. It was suffocating to be where I was. I heard a soft rustling outside. It was a box being lifted and moved away. The sounds of cardboard boxes shifting around the shelves and moist air circulating were the only kinds of noises familiar to me.

Sometimes I had gotten flashbacks of hands caressing my body, hands that had known no love. My memory of it was hazy for the darkness had embraced me too long ago. The nothingness I knew was filled only by the muffled sounds outside; the whirring sounds of air blowing through the vent, the shuffling of feet on a hard wooden floor, the creaking sound of a door being opened and closed, and the occasional cough here and there. Together the sounds blended harmoniously no matter how muffled they were through the darkness that encompassed me. The sounds around me were the instruments of an orchestra forever playing in pianissimo.

My nothingness was disturbed when I heard footsteps come towards my direction. I felt the whole world shake and I felt myself being carried away. I was scared. Nothing could ever have prepared me for what had happened next.

I heard a zipping sound and a sliver of light had appeared. The muffled sounds had become crystal clear. I heard the pitter patter of multiple feet tapping a carpeted floor. I heard voices of different pitches; of men, women, and children alike. I heard an almost distorted sound of a guitar being strummed. I could hear a door swing open and a bell ringing right after. I could hear the sound of laughter coming from behind me and the sounds of coins dropping in front of me. I could hear everything at a louder volume, an orchestra playing in forte, playing a new unheard tune. The light had grown wider and wider until the darkness I knew had disappeared. I heard the Velcro that kept me down unclasp and felt hands lift my entire body. The cold air rushed into the trenches of my soul as cold dry hands of an old man had rubbed off some of the dust sitting on my wooden skin.

He then had given me to you.

The moment your skin had touched mine I felt a spark, a feint jolt of lightning passing through my wood, almost as if giving me life. Your hands were smooth and soft. They felt so warm. I never thought that the feeling of fingers gliding down my skin could bring me so much calm. You caressed me gently and lightly placed me on your shoulder. Your chin pressed down on my chin rest and it was a perfect fit. I looked into your dark brown eyes and you looked back at me. I felt the muscles on your chin twitch and the smile you placed on your face was even warmer than the hands that gently carried my neck.

Your hair shown under the fluorescent light and I saw you close your eyes. You swayed a bit as if dancing to a soundless tune. You lift your chin and brought me near your face. Your fingers once again gliding down my wooden surface, feeling every curve and arch on my body. You place me back down from the mold I had come from and clasped the Velcro that kept me in place. I hear your voice and it was the most beautiful kind of music I have ever heard. I watched your lips move as you place your hand on the case that kept me in darkness.

"I'll take it."

Hearing those three words, I felt a warmth inside the hollowness of body. Did this mean that I will never know the same nothingness again? Was the emptiness I knew about to be filled?

Your hand slowly lowered the top of the case and I was immersed in darkness once more. The hollowness I felt had returned. The sounds had become muffled and I felt a longing to see the outside world. I felt a longing to hear the sounds unmuffled once more but more importantly I longed to hear your voice again. I never really minded my nothingness but for some strange reason now I do.

I await for the day my darkness will be invaded by that same sliver of light and hopefully you'll be waiting for me at the other end.