Joy & Difficulty.

Joy

✯

VII

Sometimes I wondered what the pun was behind my name. There had to be a pun behind it. My thoughts were that my father, who'd named me, was up in heaven laughing at me. The ridiculousness that was my laugh, didn't match the beautiful name he'd given me.

If I knew one thing for certain my dad, was one man I truly loved. With a whole heart, I loved him.

With other men, I could never be certain. Or at least it was very hard to be.

Perhaps, when I noticed myself faking for Prince, I hated myself. For loving another man. My logic, may not have been the best, but it was my own.

✯

The last thing I remembered was being wrestled down to the ground. The one thing I knew for sure was that it was against my will. I lay with my eyes closed for longer than intended or necessary, as I listened to the quiet voices around me. I knew I wasn't alone and I knew I was still at the condo by the feel of the sofa beneath me.

"Leave her."

"I just might have to." I heard Prince mumble.

"I never liked her." Morris chimed in.

"Every closed eye isn't sleep." Prince spoke lowly. "Whenever she does wake up I'm going to need you guys to leave."

"What?" Morris asked incredulously. "I'm scared to leave you here alone with this bitch."

"Stop Morris." A voice spoke.

"Nah man that's the car Mr.Nelson gave him."

I was a bitch for doing that but it felt right in that moment.

"She's not a bitch." Prince finally spoke, making my heart smile.

I began to open my eyes and I was instantaneously met with silence. I was met with the stare of everyone, around me.

Prince sat below my feet on the sofa, while Morris and for other men sat in pullout chairs. Their seating arrangement reminded of an AA meeting.

My arms were meticulously wrapped beside me in a thick blanket.

I was silent.

"Joy..." Prince sighed, "...are you okay?" His expression was as stark as I'd ever seen.

I nodded before trying to speak, it was hard. "I think so, I may have a concussion though."

"See." Morris huffed. "She's going to press charges." He shrugged his shoulder in a dramatic fashion.

"Shut the fuck up!" Prince slapped his knees before rising to his feet. "Ok guys. I appreciate y'all staying to make sure she was okay but we're alright now." He said motioning towards the door.

"You sure?" The bigger man asked.

"Positive."

After awhile Prince walked the men out. I heard him jokingly threatening to fire them if they spoke to the media. But I knew he was serious. I also heard Morris pleading with him to get rid of me.