Since Birth

Chapter 4

Vivian rounds into my neighborhood around 10 o'clock. She begins rolling up the windows and turning the music down. I look at her, confused by her actions.

"So," she begins, "you and Tanner."

"Are JUST friends and have been since childhood" I interject before she gets carried away.

She laughs, "There's no way you two are just friends. I'm not stupid you know Julz! I see the way you two look at each other, and the way you guys light up whenever you talk to each other."

I denied her, "We're just insanely close Viv, you wouldn't understand."

She continues, "Every boyfriend you've ever had have one thing in common. You don't know them! All you did was talk about meaningless surface subjects and hook up, and none lasted you more than a few months."

I sigh as she continues on her rant.

"But who's the one guy you consistently talk to and connect with?"

"My dad?" I question playfully.

She slaps my arm lightly and returns, "Tanner, you stupid hoe!!! He's your best friend and people always say that their boyfriend is their best friend, so you're already there!! And I KNOW you've got to be attracted to him. That body. That face. That hair. Damn girl, I don't know why you've never considered this!!! Every girl in school is dying to fuck him and here you are with the perfect guy for you lying there and you don't even look at him!"

I let out another sigh and drop my head down. I mutter out a quick "Alright, alright!!" as we reach my house and I thank her for the ride and hop out of the car.

Truthfully, I don't have any good reason not to be in love with Tanner. He is gorgeous; tall with a toned baseball body, and his face is chiseled but when he grins his dimples pop out. He has floppy dark hair which I always make fun of him for, but deep down I know he looks sexy as hell with it. Obviously he's attractive and obviously I adore his personality. And everything Viv said about my ex-boyfriends is true. I just couldn't ruin our friendship by putting myself out there, only to get shut down.

I have trouble sleeping, because my brain was moving 100 miles a minute. All I can think about is Tanner. While I'd never honestly considered him an option, with us going off to college together, it's starting to make a little more sense. I'm not going to rush anything, and certainly won't try to risk our friendship, but maybe I'll be more open to him as time goes on.