Why do I always need such detail and explanation for my feelings, so many parts are even hard to let out
But it's so simple
Mischievous doubt, overlooking everything
Presence surrounds my pressured entity
Joined to corrupt community
The pain of what's happening, empathy
Bone aches, lungs sunken deep
My mind so curious but fears to see
What is this continuum, and what couldn't be?
A circle of avenues to inconceivable possibilities
Complicated individual to understand with my own confinement
Never guided and I'm just too confused
I don't know how too direct me
Edified by pursuing dreamers,
Who would not attempt for best accomplishment
But with their piercing eyes,
Angered by breaking faiths and standards unachieved
Expected too much of me
Crashed
But I apparently could never feel as bad as them
Life sped away too looming visions
Didn't know much about true reality
Stuck in my own house,
Blank walls with memories unseen
No way out
And no one tried to help
Broken souls waste me away
Infected by hidden plague
Loathing, grief, paranoia
Undesirable too all that's around and myself
And I'll close my rheumy eyes
Hold my body together
But keep looking at it to see if maybe I will get better
Green veins extend up trembling wrists
Roots of a bonsai, curling together and so close knit
Missed skin melted the metallic away
Powerful numbness felt great
Weightless, floating like an angel
Invisible, but I didn't want to be seen
Sidelines and important people
Constant lies and pretended to be on my side
Oblivious and didn't mention
What was happening inside,
Even when my exterior shown
Blames and disaster
Wrongs of this small world
Became my own fault
Lay away and tries to forget it all
Swollen heart
Ignite gasoline and please let it burn
Oblivion arrived long ago,
But repeating for ending wishes, inner thoughts
They expected so much,
and I expect that I cannot do it anymore
