again ; j.johnson

; five

johnson's pov

i woke up, addie was still cuddled up to me, her hair was everywhere, and you could hear her soft little snores.

this is one of the things i've missed the most, waking up next to my favorite person, hearing her cute little snores, just looking to the left and seeing that she's here.

it's like a habit to look to my left when I wake up, to see if someone's there.

i catch myself sometimes on tour and out in los angeles looking to see if she was there, never was. either some one night stand or no one.

i was so wrapped up in thinking that i didn't even notice she woke up.

"jack, are you okay?" addie asked worriedly, looking at the direction i was staring at them back at me.

"y-yeah, i'm fine." i tried to laugh it off.

she nodded her head and laid back down, looking away from me this time.

"did you ever wake up in the morning a-" she cut me off.

"woah jack, you should know i never wake up in the morning." she giggled, turning around and looking at me.

"well whatever" i laughed "but when you did wake up, did you ever like catch yourself looking to see if i was there?"

her face dropped, she stared at a little crease on the blanket and must've been thinking.

"y-yeah, like to see if you had your cute morning hair, or if you were holding me still from the night before. it's like i always wanted your body next to mine." she smiled, but then it faded. she was still staring at the crease, it looked like she was tearing up.

"i-i know this is all my fault, but i did too." i said looking down. "i wish it could just all go back to normal." i sighed.

"like when you never had to worry about my every move, we never had uncomfortable silences, we could talk about old memories and never teared up because of them, but it's like now all that has changed, because of my one stupid fucking mistake." i said putting my head in my hands.

she put her hand on my back "yeah jack, it was a stupid fucking mistake, but you gotta live with it, but you know i still love you. that'll never changed." she said now hugging me from the side.

"i just don't know how to make it up to you." i sighed.

"it takes time jack, you know i just need to make up my mind and stuff. think about all of this, i'm just happy i get to finally see you after all this time." she smiled, i could tell she was still sad behind that smile though.

"speaking of all the time we missed, what have you been doing." she asked me.

"touring, eating, sleeping, repeating." i chuckled. "what have you been up to?"

"trying to find a job, i knew i should've went to college." she sighed. "its so fucking hard jack, you make life seem so easy." she sighed again.

"i had to earn my way up to where i am though, there wasn't any steps on how to get where i am today. it wasn't as easy as it seems." she nodded. "why don't you try to apply for college? you were always smart."

"haven't really been thinking about that, i've been so worried about everything else and not my own life." she sighed.

"well i'm going to help, lets search up some and see what you can apply for." i smiled. "what were you thinking about majoring in?" i asked, going to my desk to unplug my laptop.