I Peed Myself In Front Of My Crush

Chapter 5- It Was All Yellow

Now, where was I? Yes, jumping to my death. The only obstacle in my way: My mother.

"Let me go! I want to die!" All I could see was the ground, it looked so inviting and it also was offering me peace. I wouldn't get the chance to pee myself in front of anyone anymore. I'd be free and this curse wouldn't follow me anymore.

"Please, Jade. Just tell us what happened, we'll fix this together!" Mom yelled as she held on to my waist while Sydney was grabbing and pulling on my arm with all her strength. I heard the neighbors shouting at me to get down from the roof and how I am so young to die.

Oh, I'll get off this roof but not from the same way I climbed it and it doesn't matter if I die young or old, I want to die and that's the end of the story. I can't forget the way, the whole freaking class laughed at me and since I was crying, I couldn't see Paige's reaction but I know what she would be thinking. She'd be thinking about how disgusting and repulsive I am. And Tim, he'd break our friendship off the very next day, the very next moment he sees me.

But he won't see me because I'm gonna die right here, right now and no one's gonna stop me. I managed to get out of mom's hold and I was able to get to the other side of the railing with all the strength that I could muster. A sadistic smile came on to my face as I stared at the ground from above here. It looked so beautiful, and you know what would look even more beautiful; the world, when I cease to exist.

Just as I was ripping Sydney's hand off of my arm, I felt someone pick me up. I thrashed in their hold as I cried for them to let me go. "Let go! Let me jump!" And a second later, I was back inside the confines of my living room with mom and Sydney looking at me with their eyes holding worry in them. The person that was carrying me, my older brother Caleb, put me down on the sofa with a sigh as he looked at me with his eyes slightly watery.

"What happened that made you do that, sis?" I just felt my vision get blurry again as I tried to look away from him but he immediately cupped both of my cheeks, looking into my eyes. I knew that I could never lie to him while looking into his eyes so I just shut mine tight. I heard Caleb sigh again and a moment later, I felt my mother's arms engulfing me in a side hug as I sighed out into her embrace.

"What happened, Jadey?" I shook my head as I kept my eyes closed, burying my face in my mother's neck as if I could disappear into her embrace. "I, I did it again, mom." I mumbled out into her neck with my words coming out muffled.

Mom backed me away from her shoulders and made me look at her as she asked me again, "What happened?" This time the authority in her voice was evident. She knew, and I knew that I wasn't 18 yet and that meant that she still had control over me and my life.

"I did it again." I croaked out due to all the crying and screaming to be let go. Mom looked at me confused while Sydney who was sitting in front of me on the coffee table, looked lost. Caleb had entered the living room again and he looked at me with a small smile but I didn't smile back. I just shed all my tears hoping that somehow, I would forget all that happened.

"What did you do again?" Mom asked and Caleb came to me, sitting on my other side with his arm around my back. I sighed before I closed my eyes uttering the embarrassing thing that I had done in front of my history class and not to forget, Paige and Tim.

"I peed myself again." The way my mom's eyes held recognition told me that she remembered my not so little accident in my previous school.

"I thought we were over this, Jade." Caleb spoke from beside me as he rubbed his face with his other hand. Mom was sitting silently as Sydney smiled uncomfortably at me.

"I was sure that nothing would happen but then I looked into her eyes and I just...." I bowed my head down as I trailed off, knowing that my mom and Caleb would be able to complete my sentence without my help. Caleb sighed audibly before he looked at me in question, "Who did you look at?" I felt the heat rush to my cheeks and stay there as I recalled the moment when I had looked into her greenish blue eyes and I just lost all my senses, well except for the one that helped me avert my eyes from hers.