Ever since that party, Dan has been opening up to me a little more and generally being less... aggressive. It's just so weird, he was only ever like this before I came out.
Of course, our friendship is nothing like it was. But, I can actually call him my friend now. He doesn't throw hate comments at me anymore - he just keeps his distance. It almost seems like he's afraid of hurting me.
"Dan?" I call, knocking on his bedroom door, "I'm going out to get Chinese for dinner, would you like anything?"
"Just the usual!" he calls back.
I sigh and walk to the front door, grabbing my coat from the peg. Once I've closed the door behind me, I start to walk down the street and think about everything that's been going on.
I should be happy about the change. I've been waiting for this. It just doesn't feel right. I suppose it just worries me, that I'm going to settle down, get used to Dan being like this again, and then he's just going to flip out. I need to be prepared for that to happen.
My final goal is to find out why he's been like this for so long and why he's suddenly changing, now.
Before I can think too far into it, however, I'm at the takeaway shop. I open the door and step inside, making sure to wipe my feet on the doormat.
"Hello, welcome to Golden Palace! How can I help you tonight?" the man at the counter asks me, passing me a menu.
Like clockwork, I lay the paper down and point out mine and Dan's usual order. I haven't done this in years - I miss it. We always felt kind of like a family.
"I'll just go and get your food, then. That'll be £16.50, please," the man says.
I hand him the money and take the bag, walking out the shop.
~✧✦✧~
"Hope you're hungry!" I shout, walking into the apartment.
"Y-Yeah," I hear Dan mumble, "I guess."
"You alright?" I ask, walking into the kitchen, bag in hand.
"Let's j-just eat," he replies.
I nod and sit down, setting out all of the different boxes. I tuck the bar stool into the island a little more and start to serve myself some food.
"Phil? I w-want to talk to you," Dan sighs, turning his stool towards me, "After all this time, you deserve to know."
"After all thi- Dan, what do you mean?" I ask, confused. I place my cutlery back onto my plate, so I can turn my attention solely to him.
He takes a breath, before looking me straight in the eyes, "I want to explain why I've been like this to you. I want you to know why I am who I am."
YOU ARE READING
Off Camera | Phan
Fanfictionwhen phil lester comes out as gay, dan howell doesn't take it very lightly ~✧✦✧~ chapter titles song titles <3 ~✧✦✧~ cover art made by @emkabob ~✧✦✧~ triggers: -slurs + other homophobia -bullying -mention of suicide
