The Monster in Me

Chapter 7: Claire

SEVEN

Claire

I could feel the vibrations of the music rock beneath my feet as I look up to see the house pounding like a stereo trying to pump music out of its speakers. The house was bright and wild; as colors bounced off the pavement and into my eyes, making them squint in pain. The sound was pumping into my ears, trying to burst them with its pulsating beat.

The party is wild, as red cups lie in the window ledge and people are screaming, "Chug! Chug! Chug!" All I could think is why I had agreed to come; I mean this isn't really my scene in the first place.

I would rather be in the park surrounded by strong pines, which spread their branches across the sky leaving pieces of blue scattered between their fingers. Light streams in through patches of leaves and lies across the pond making the whole forest glimmer. The breeze picks up and embraces you with all the fragrances nature has to offer, one sweet sniff makes your body go numb and at peace.

The birds start to play a melody commencing the start of a song, bringing real music to your ears. The toads join in with their low, constant beat and the crickets 'creek' to their heart's content. I open my eyes to see the breathing and beating soul of the forest as creatures come out and embrace the music.

"Claire are you ready?" Jenny asked bringing me to the front door.

The front door brought back so many memories that Ashley and I use to share. Everyday I would walk to her house on the way to school; her mom always greeted me at the door with a smile that could light up the world, with just one glance. Ashley would run down the stairs with her backpack swinging from side to side as she yelled, "I am coming!" I would just stand there saying, " Common, my grandmother is faster than you!" Just as I would say that she would giggle, imagining herself with a cane and chatty teeth. However things changed when my parents died as my friendship with Ashley ceased to exist.

~Flashback:

My first day back to school after their funeral is a mess. My whole body feels numb and weak as it reeked of alcohol. Mascara runs down my face in long black trails, not really bothered about my appearance; how could I? I let my parents die as I stayed in the back corner protecting myself from my fate. The fate I was supposed to have, as I looked death right in the eyes. Guilt consumed me, as I lay on a silver platter before it and allowed it to pick me apart, piece-by-piece.

Ashley would just stand there in the middle of the school hallway and gloat at my self-destruction. We use to be best friends, Ashley and I, but when I needed her the most she disappeared. She saw the opportunity to take my place as the most popular girl in school while I plummet to my knees, in guilt and darkness.

My eyes became red and inflamed making it hard to see, as my body swerves from wall to wall making my way over to Ashley and her newly found posse. "Look what the tide brought in, a sad little nobody," Heather said as everyone else laughed.

I faced Ashley in confusion and slurred, "I though' weeeee weeeeere frieeends." At that moment I knew I was going to be sick as my stomach condensed in pain releasing acidic juices all over Ashley. Our friendship was just shredded into a million pieces with no hope of rebuilding it.

~Present Moment:

Jenny tapped me on the shoulders waiting for a response, "I will go around back and wait for my cue," I told Jenny. She just gazed into my eyes like she was digging into my soul searching for something. I quickly turned away not giving her a chance to say another word.