Pain, the only emotion I've felt since Joey died. He was there for me for my entire life then just left. How could this happen? Why did I let it happen? And worst off, why did I make him come?
We had gone to our beach house in Malibu. The sun was setting and our parents had gone to the store. I convinced him to sneak out with me to watch the sunset in the waves. A storm was coming and the waves were crazy. He didn't want to but I forced him. He went in deeper and a waved ate him. There was more afterwards and he never came up. When they finally settled down, his lifeless body laid on the beach. He drowned because of me.
I looked around the room at everyone who'd shown up. There was a lot of friends, since Joey was popular. We were twins, though we barely looked alike and no one at school knew we were related.
I knew that tomorrow everyone will be saying "why did the nerd show up?" or "who invited the freak no one likes her" and probably "Joey probably died looking at her ugly ass face, why couldn't someone unimportant like her die".
"Amen", I heard everyone in the church say as the preacher finished up.
"We'd like to ask the family of the diseased to step up", the preacher said in a sympathetic tone.
I looked at my mother with pleading eyes. She knew that I didn't like attention, especially on a day like this.
Her face was red and her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Tears were forming in her eyes. She nodded and stood up with my father and younger sister who was only 4.
They walked up and looked down into the casket, closing it gently as they looked at their son for the last time. I heard my little sister Bethany ask my mother why Joey was sleeping in there.
I saw tears starting to fall down my mother's cheeks, as if her her broken heart kept breaking into tinier pieces by hearing her daughter say that.
I stood up and picked Bethany up, taking her out of the church. I sat down on the steps to the door and set Bethany on my lap.
"Ellie, why is Joey sleeping? He's been sleeping for a long time. Should I wake him up?" She asked quietly.
I looked into her curious blue eyes. Her and Joey looked astonishingly alike. More than him and I. I had blue eyes like them but mine were a darker blue while they had pale, icy blue eyes.
While I had blonde hair Joey had almost a light brown, like a dirty blonde and Bethany ha the same thing. I ha gotten my mother dainty nose and other facial features while they had my dad's nose and freckles. It was surprising that we were twins, really.
"No Bethany. Joey's really tired. He wants to sleep forever, like grandma. Let him sleep."
She nodded and yawned resting her small head on my shoulder. I stood up and rocked her gently until I heard her calm breathing, signaling she was asleep. I glanced towards the church to see everyone filing out silently. Joey' girlfriend, Katie, made her way over towards me with Joey's best friend Harry, their group following quietly behind.
"Why are you hear?" Katie asked rudely, though her voice cracked at the last word from crying so much.
"I'm family", I said quietly.
"What? Like cousins or something?" Katie's friend Brittany asked.
"Something like that", I shrugged.
"Well leave. I'm sure he hated being related to you and no one even likes you. It should've been you, not him. He was actually important."
I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs. Did he hate me? Was I unimportant to him? Was he the one who let his friends make my life a living hell?
"I think thats a bit harsh..." Harry started.
"It may be harsh, but its true, isn't it?"
There was a lot of nods and mumbled agreements going through the crowd. I wasn't even wanted at my own brother's funeral.
I nodded slowly and looked down. I turned and walked towards my father, putting Bethany in his arms then starting to walk away from the church.
"You really weren't important. Katie's right."
I spun around and to my amazement Joey was standing there, wearing his favorite football (soccer) jersey and a pair of tan shorts like always.
"No, no. You're not real", I convinced myself.
"I'm real in your mind. I never really liked you. Remember that kid Princeton who moved that cheated on you? Yeah, I made him fake date you as a prank."
"Stop it! You're dead! You're not here!"
"You killed me. I'm dead because of you. I drowned because of YOU. YOU KILLED ME!"
I started to run away, but I could still hear his words echoing through my head. You killed me. You killed me. You killed me.
