Nightmares can't hurt you in real life

Random rant

I'm sorry I just wanted to have that photo To lighten the mood before the depressing shiz happens. In writing this after I wrote everything else, so this is future me. If you can't handle suicide, depression, bulling, all that, might wanna go. (And NO, I'm NOT stallling time to get 1,000 words in! Totally not! Okay, bye guys. Love ya =3)
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So, I'm laying in bed, nothing to do, alone with my thoughts, really comfy blankets and pillows, a nice midnight Breeze, and wattpad. So, I decided to write something, since I discarded this story and wanted to write some more. (+, I couldn't sleep with all these random thoughts in my head, not to mention the annoying sounds of fireworks above my house, Allthough their pretty /)^.^(\ ) Here it goes.
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Well, first, this was kind of based off of the brilliant DumpsterDiving101 's book "Stab Me With a Fork". They are an amazing author (my fave definitely), and they have amazing ideas, and are extremely. creative. I definitely look up to them for support. I want to keep rambling about how awesome they are, but I can't find any words to describe them, literally. They are just an amazing author and person in general. I read "Stab Me With a Fork" and I decided to note some of my ideas and feelings so I wouldn't have a huge ball of stress and anxiety on my shoulder. Well, it worked! Kind of. But you should check out their work. Fantastic stuff. Fills the void and keeps you wanting more =D I want to say more about how epically awesome in every way they are, but I am literally out of words. So yeah. That's that.
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Second off, I broke all my mirrors. I just decided to put that out in the world. I got tired of judging myself so much. For my scars from cutting, my weight, my face and body, etc. I also broke my scale.
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For a long time, I was really fat. Like, not Megan trainer "All About That Base" but like hunnie boo boo's mom combined with a whale fat. (Well, not really. But you get it.) I kept getting bullied, beaten up, etc. I started hating myself, was disgusted with myself. This went on for a while. I decided to do something about it. I stopped eating, only to munch on some carrots or something, started to make myself forcefully puke if I could, and took a lot of meds that make you loose weight fast. I because Anorexic very, VERY quickly. I stopped getting bullied. Started having more friends. I was finally popular! It felt amazing. But then everything went back to the way it was. Can't have happiness without sadness, right? I got bullied again, but worse. This time, I was being called freak, skeleton, secretly dead, old lady, etc. I would get food shoved in my mouth until I was choking, be attacked because people thought I was a skeleton, etc. fun, right? So I tried killing myself.
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I ran home, blinded by the tears in my eyes. I swallowed a whole bunch of pills, and washed them down with bleach. It was practically impossible to not die. Time to wait. I started writing my note, to my parents. I thanked them for being so loving, and told them they were great parents. That this wasn't their fault. Before I could finish writing, I was jolted into unconscious...
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I woke up, very much alive. I was so fuc*ing depressed, but otherwise felt nothing. Was I supposed to feel something? "Of course, you just survived from killing yourself!". Well, I felt nothing. Just kind of numb, I guess. No emotions or anything. I took a few days off of school to recover, but then continued to go. Apparently, the whole school found out. Everyone was so, so distant. I hate to say it was better when I was being bullied. At least I had human contact. I was so alone. But somebody reached out to me. His name was Markus. We became friends. He helped me through everything, taught me happiness, and was my one and only hope. (Yep, cutoff without true ending. That's just what I do. I'm such s crap writer, I can't even write a decent ending, so stay with me.)
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That leads me to today. Im standing strong. I have healthy weight, a good amount of friends, and at least an normal happiness amour per day. Everything is finally fine.
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I feel selfish posting this, because I know someone is/has gone through worse. I know that I will always be non-superior. So I'm just going to try my best to stay quiet and help/guide/talk other people out of their depression. It's the most I can do, right? After all, their lives are much worse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~That got depressing quickly, I'm sorry. I just needed to get that life sin off my chest. I'm tired of feeling bad for what I've done, feeling ashamed of myself, feeling like I'm not in control. So I decided to change that. So yeah. I wanted to write my tale. I'm sorry if it bothered you.

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Let's lighten the mood for a bit, and let me tell you how awesome DumpsterDiving101 is. Honestly, they are my god and I pray everyday. Not really. But you get it. Their work is so amazing and they are such a great person and I can't so I'm just like uuuuuugggggggghhhhhh. I can't get over how perfect they are like seriously. I'm going to end up writing a book about how fuc*ing awesome they are. I'm serious. It's going to be called "My God is your author" . Expect it written tomorrow.
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Not really. But by the way, did you notice my new book? The incident. I kinda just wanted to write a serious book for once, and that title sounded good. But my problem is the fact I have no clue what it's going to be about. Like, seriously. No. F-ing. Clue. So guess what I did. YUP! I asked DunpsterDiving101 for help! Because they are smartz!
But yeah, I'm ending it there. Love you guys, the very two of you. I see you out there /)^.^(\ But yeah. Bye guys! (Happy 4th =D)
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I'M SORRY ONE LAST THING
I finally wrote something long for once =3.

OKAY SORRY BYE GOOD NIGHT!! <3