heaven

I Missed You

"I need to take a shower. So I guess I will be back in a few then. You and Sam catch up....." Dean hopped up and out of the kitchen. He wanted to look at Cas one more time to make sure he wasn't dreaming. His mind was not playing tricks on him though. Castiel was here and alive. Beaten down, but fully alive.
He wanted to smile and feel happy for his friend, but his brain would not let him. He was torn. The feeling of wanting to scream at the top of his lungs at Cas was passing the feeling to hug him again. Dean wanted more than anything to just go back to bed and sleep this all off. But he knew that hiding from his problems never seemed to good in the long run. And if he did, Cas would still be there afterwards to talk to him.
This time, his home was the problem. And he felt completely lost.
Dean slowly got undressed, checking his small cuts around his arms...Sam and Dean get very violent on their hunts. And not all the violence is toward the monsters. But by now, Dean was used to it. Sam and Dean didn't really feel the pain anymore. But they knew to make sure none of the cuts were getting infected. Just then, the door swung open and Dean jumped back grabbing a towel.
"De-oh."
There stood Castiel. Deans face got very red and furrowed his eyebrows in an angry.
"You-get out!"
Cas backed up and closed the door in a rush. Dean huffed and put his hands on opposite sides of the sink, his face beaming red. But his stomach twisted in a knot when he felt a pang of guilt for being so rude to Cas. It just happened so quickly.
Castiel got a glimpse of Dean naked and there was nothing he could do about it.
'We're family, Sam has seen me naked a lot, it's normal.' Dean told himself. (;) lol)
He rubbed his face in distress and just got in the shower quickly. He raised his arms above himself and touched either side of the wall. He let his head hang between his arms. His heart was going to thump out of his chest and he didn't know why. Dean had no clue. These feelings he had been discovering ever since Cas left had him trapped in a world where he had no clue what to do first. Talk about it with Sammy? No. Talk about it with Castiel?
Probably not the best idea. He was lost and scared almost. Then Cas showed up and his mood just...brightened. 100%. He didn't know how or why. But Castiel gave him the energy he so desperately yearned for.
After a quick wash and long thoughts holding onto his skin, Dean hopped out of the shower and padded to his room quietly and shut the door behind him.
"Uh. Dea-"
"Cas, what the HELL are you doing in here?" Dean didn't turn around, just placed his hand on the door frame. He breathed slowly, calming himself before facing his friend.
"I just thought we could t-talk I guess." Castiel stuttered a bit feeling a little sorry. He really didn't mean to be by Deans side 24/7 but since he came back, he felt pretty good being close to Dean.
"Yeah, no. No that's fine Cas. We can talk. I know it's been a long while. Just, give me a little bit while I get dressed. Please?"
Dean lightened up a bit and gave Cas a small smile. Castiel nodded and got up, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Dean threw on a pair of jeans with a red button up shirt. He decided to just let his hair dry itself so he didn't have to keep Castiel waiting.
"You can come in Cas."
The door opened and he slipped in, closing the door once more. He moved to sit, but realized what had been happening.
Dean. He was softly weeping into his shirt. "I'm sorry that I made you-"
"It's not all you Cas. I'm really glad you're back. More than glad. Ecstatic. I'm just...I'm just tired. Tired Cas."
Castiel frowned. His best friend felt very wore out, he could feel his heart break in two when Dean opened his arms and wrapped them around Castiel's neck.
"Dean, I'm sorry." Cas spoke lowly.
"Stop saying that. You don't have to be sorry. None of it is your fault." Castiel laid his head on Deans shoulder while Dean gripped tightly around his neck. He hadn't realized what he had been doing until he started touching Cas's neck. He breathed in deeply.
"Please do not leave again. Please." He took a step back while Castiel nodded. Dean wiped his tears and started to get that feeling when he was around Cas. He couldn't describe it.
It was pure. His instinct was to grab his angel-
His? His angel? Since when was Castiel's his?
"Dean. Are you okay?" Castiel woke Dean up from his daydream. He was standing extremely close and there was not much space between them.
"Oh sorry. Personal spac-"
Slowly, their lips met. Dean rubbed his lightly on Castiel's, his breath hitching when Cas touched his neck. The kiss was slow. Time stopped. Dean pulled his angel close and pressed his body against his. He only gently pressed his lips to Cas's becuase he wasn't sure if he was okay with it. But the sweet kiss was all he needed. He breathed lightly onto Castiel's lips, making him shutter.
Dean pulled away and smirked.
"Oh my god."
"What was that?" Castiel glanced around the room, bright red from the gentle touch of Deans hands still on his hips.
"That was-that was just...amazing."
Dean backed up. Watching Castiel's lips in astonishment at what had just happened. He wanted to do it again. And he didn't want to stop. "Dean. Why-" Castiel stopped mid sentence.
"Just...Don't leave me again. I beg of you Cas."
Dean had puffy eyes but they glimmered. With tears or love, Castiel could not tell. His feelings were mixed and even the angel who usually could tell what the other person was saying could not describe the mess Dean had going on in his mind. Castiel was mostly confused. His heart was thumping so hard he couldn't hear himself think.
"Dean, my heart. It kinda....hurts." Castiel grabbed his chest and looked Dean in the eyes. The man who had been crying, chuckled softly to himself.
"It's because your heart is telling you I'm the one. And you have no idea how damn happy that makes me."
In one swift movement, Dean pulled Cas's legs up and they wrapped around his torso. Their lips crashed together again, and they didn't leave each other. Dean slowly walked over to the bed and gently laid Castiel down. His arms touching down Castiel's chest, the angel was scared. He had never done this before. It was new to him. And he knew that Dean had done it before, but with girls...?
"Dean...what about..."
"Cas, it'll be new for both of us. I want this. Do you want this?" He asked softly in Castiel's ear. Cas shuttered a little at the hot breath hitting his ear and the back of his neck.
"I do Dean. I do."
Dean smiled and continued kissing his angel. Castiel didn't know what to do, so he laid there with his eyes closed right and he had his arms wrapped around Dean's neck, playing with some of his hair. Playfully, Dean went underneath Cas's shirt and touched the delicate skin. Cas moaned out and gripped onto Dean's hair. The feeling took over his body, making it harder for him to breath.
"Slow down. It's okay Cas. We'll go slow."