heaven

Oops

When Dean awoke, he still felt Cas's hair gently tickling underneath his chin. It was soft, silky almost. He smiled, remember exactly what had happened without having to open his eyes. The soft snore coming from Castiel's lips filled the room, echoing. It was dim in the room, the lights had been turned off...? Dean didn't remember turning the lights off. But hey, he was probably at a high before climbing into bed with Cas and just couldn't remember flipping the lights off...it happens he thought.
Opening his bright green eyes, they searched the room. Castiel's clothes were still littered all over the room, but the way Dean's shirt fit on Cas was just perfection. It made him smile, seeing how big it actually was. And knowing that Castiel wasn't all that "small" in the first place made him chuckle. But his heart just loved it.
He just couldn't wrap his mind around the fact. It was still just so new to him and it made his head hurt. Liking Cas. Loving Cas. Wanting to make love to him. He had never truly wrapped his head around the fact that angels existed the first time he met Castiel, so he said fuck it. Why not go and fall for Cas, the one man who stood next to him and his brother through hell and back. Literally. Dean and Sam were so grateful. But it never felt right to him, when he felt the need to tell Cas he loved him. It made Dean feel girly, when really he was tough, strong.....manly.
"Deeean."
He was startled when Castiel lowly mumbled his name. It was a grumble and he sounded annoyed.
"You're thinking too much. Stop. It hurts."
Dean smirked.
"Sorry Cas. I'll be back, I'm going to get water, want any?" He slid out from under Castiel and slid on some pj bottoms from his drawer. The angel groaned.
"Get me peanut butter. Please."
'God' thought Dean 'not a morning person'
"I heard that." Castiel shifted in the bed and turned over to face Dean, giving him the biggest grin ever.
"Ah, shut up."
-
Quickly and quietly, Dean made his way to the kitchen. He flipped the light on only to find Sam sitting at the little table with a reading light and a book. Probably researching.
"Sammy. What're you doin?" He asked, creeping over Sam's shoulder to have a peek at what his brother was looking at.
"Oh nothin. Just some research on Angels, that's all." He said in a soft voice, reaching for a cup filled with beer probably. Only to hide the fact, not that it really mattered. Because Dean reached into the fridge and instead of water, he got beer.
"Why Angels? Got a job or somethin? Plus, it's past your bedti-"
"Dean, I know."
Sam butted in and watched Dean crumble.
Sammy knew. He knew, everything. Because he was the one that went to check on them, he turned the lights off, he saw them in bed together.
"Fuck Sam. Damn it. Sam. It-it hurts. What-"
"Dean. No no, no it's okay. Come here."
Tears were falling from Dean's face. He slowly leaned into his brother for support. His body went limp as Sam wrapped his arms around Dean. Sam was there for his brother no matter what. This was something they could fix. The hole in Dean's heart. It can be fixed.
"Sam, I hope you're not ma-"
"MAD? MAD?! DEAN THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I'D BE MAD."
His voice echoed through the halls, startling Dean at first. But he was glad. The one thing he didn't want to do was disappoint his brother.
"I'm just, confused. Cas....what I want...I've never felt..." His voice gently shook. He didn't want Sam to find out that way.
"Dean, don't you dare apologize. There is literally nothing to apologize for. If you think I'm going to judge you, I promise you that is not what I am going to do."
Dean stood there for a while, searching Sam's eyes. The fear made his hands shake too, but they stopped after a while. He shook his head, looking at his beer and taking another swig.
"Well....do you have any questions?" Dean wondered, getting in the cabinet and pulling out some peanut butter. Sam just shrugged it off, thinking he was only hungry.
"Not right now Dean. You should sleep, you look exhausted. I know, you've spent lots of energy on all of this. So rest. I can ask another time. Or just....never ask. I'm just happy that you're trying to find yourself. It's just satisfying Dean. Really."
Sam smiled, looking to the floor. Dean had always loved his brothers smile, and this time it was himself causing it. So he smiled too. Laughing a bit, he grabbed his brothers shoulder.
"Sam...thank you. For everything. Man, I must sound like a complete idiot right now to you. But it doesn't matter, you're still here supporting me. Through everything. And I couldn't thank you more." He wiped his eyes, the tears still coming a bit. Sam nodded.
"Jerk."
"Bitch."
And with that, Dean left the kitchen, leaving Sam to his research on Angels. That kid. Dean never completely knew how he got so lucky to have a brother like Sam. Smart, handsome, great with ladies, confident, strong, brave. And he wanted his little brother to have a better life, of course. But he knew, as long as Sam was safe, he would do his best to give Sam the life he wanted, even through this hell. The hell they all had been through. Dean strived to keep his promises to Sam. He never thought of stopping. And so it continued and now Dean was constantly struggling to keep Sam satisfied. Which, in the end, was never too difficult. Dean just....he just wanted it to be different. He wanted Sam and Eileen to meet up for lunch and have a nice, NORMAL conversation. Maybe hit it off. He wanted that for his brother. To live a happy life. And he tried so hard for Sam.
"Dean?"
Castiel was standing in the hallway, still in Dean's shirt. It hung right at the waist, cover up a little bit of his grey underwear he'd put back on. Dean smirked.
"Cas. I got you peanut butter." He handed it to the tired man who seemed a little lost.
"Oh. Yeah. Thanks. But hey. I'm getting mixed signals, you seem stressed. Are you okay?" Castiel furrowed his eyebrows, opening the jar of peanut butter. His eyes wandered around if for a while, smiling when the scent hit his nose.
"Actually, I'm just thinking. I'm trying Cas, I hope you know that. I'm just trying. Everything is just so jumbled at the moment, and so is my head. I'm...I just need...I don't know."
Dean sighed, locking eyes with Castiel. After a little bit, the angel moved his arms and opened them so Dean could walk into them. And he did, without one word said, and wrapped his arms around Cas. He breathed in the scent, loving the way Castiel's hair smelled. He smelled clean. Always did. It made him calm, closing his eyes and leaning into Cas. He wanted to sleep for a little, with Castiel. His angel. He wanted to go back into his room with Cas and fall asleep next to him. He'd felt safe the first time, it helped him sleep better.
"Let's go back in. Lay down."
And they did. Pulling the blankets up, tangling their legs together, small kisses shared before finally laying down and closing their eyes. Together, in one bed, love surrounding them both for the first time.
And Dean couldn't have imagined it any other way.
--
Dean felt a cold substance being spread across his chest. He crinkled his nose and touched it. But instead, he touched Cas's hand.
"Jesus. Cas, your hands are free- oh."
Castiel stood over Dean, the peanut butter jar in his one hand and peanut butter hands spreading across Dean in the other. His cheeks were bright red and he looked away.
"You don't ne-"
"Shh. Dean, it's okay, let me do this. Please." The Angel looked up through his eyelashes and watched Dean, hoping he would give him an okay.

Dean just smiled.

//
[ hope y'all like it omg.... ]